*dude at work walks into bathroom while i’m shitting and starts coughing*
him: i’m not coughing because it smells in here i just have something in my throat, just don’t want you to feel self conscious
me: ... appreciate it bro
I don’t think anything infuriates me more than when girls put “new post” on their INSTAGRAM story to advertise their new post ON INSTAGRAM. Give me time. I’m sure I’ll see it, and I’m sure I’ll care just as less. I’m pissed that this is a thing.
bandersnatch: frosties or sugar puffs
me: ???????????????????????????
??????????????????????????? ????????? ??????????????????
??????????????????????????? ????????? ??????????????????
???????????????????????????
bandersnatch: chop up the body or bury it
me: chop it