Former Johto Champion

Johto Superiority

27 they/she/he

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

Raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimized by seeing my buttcrack when I bent over

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

My best friend just had a whole ass baby today y'all. I'm an Auncle.

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

When Biden loses re-election, it will not be because young people voted against their best interest. It will be because we all watched as he supported the Israeli government while they slaughtered innocent Palestinian citizens. How could I ever vote for a man like that?

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

Guys, we're all entering the #BlueyXboxSweepstakes right?

[XBOX @XBOX]

The perfect way to play Bluey The Videogame: with a #Bluey Xbox!

Follow and RT with #BlueyXboxSweepstakes for a chance to win a custom @OfficialBlueyTV Xbox Series X & controller.

Ages 18+. Ends 12/13/23. Rules: https://t.co/o7jQCwIfzY

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

The switch has so many features that were just never utilized outside of a very few games like "1-2-Switch" and its an actual crime. We could've had a new Pokemon Ranger using its touch pad. Or fun puzzle solving games using the joy-cons motion sensitivity. Nintendo was too safe.

[ammiél @ammisalami]

roads? where we’re serving we don’t need roads. 💅

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

If you don't have THIS kind of attitude and swagger, you don't stand a chance.

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

But is it cool if I wear the Margaritaville Crocs to the hang? I'm being serious

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

Shiny hunting is too hard. I just want a pink cutiefly and I'm DONE FR. I've made this dang sandwich so many times I can't even think about a pickle right now.

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

No matter how hard of a pill it is to swallow, I need to accept the simple fact that, some of my pikmin are gonna die. I cannot turn off my game every time I see that little spirit 😭

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

Okay so like, do I just copy and paste this over to Bluesky and Threads or how are we doing this now?

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

Now, the hardest decision I make every single day is whether to be Birdo or Wiggler in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. And the answer is, of course, both.

[ammiél @ammisalami]

katniss everdeen? you mean cuntness everqueen 💅

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

To all the Stardew Valley players who just may happen to be an older(but not the oldest)/middle child:

You don't fix Shane. Shane fixes himself. That's the whole point. You can marry someone else this time. He'll be okay.

But it's obvs fine to date him for blue chickens. 🫣

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

Jack Black fully committing to being functionally Bowser-kin is simultaneously the last thing I could have predicted, and the least surprising thing I could imagine for this man.

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

Happy Transgender day of visibility! Just a reminder that every human being deserves to have their pronouns respected, regardless of if you think they're a good person or not 🩵🩷🤍

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

@ammisalami Sorry but this is wrong. Gay people use pronouns and straights use third person point of view speaking. It's basic biology.

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

The more I think about it, the more I realize that Big Thunder Mountain Railroad has actually always been my favorite ride at Disneyland. It's practically cinema, babe.

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

My toxic trait is how much I love fishing in Stardew Valley.

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

Is it still cool to do Ketamine? Asking for my horse.

[Former Johto Champion @baltoy17]

I don't think I've ever met someone who called themselves a "Centrist" that wasn't at least three steps to the right on the political line.