Alex Moffitt

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

Boneless wings are nuggets

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

Sourcemore x Vandy Vape Pulse V3 Mod Giveaway https://t.co/xQv8K5Ostz

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

@brandnamewater @JoeySalads @Doughbvy If taxes were taught in high school, thousands of CPAs would be left unemployed.

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

I love her hair

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

Professor: I'm going to take about ten minutes at the beginning of class to review multiplexers.
Professor: *talks about multiplexers for the next 40 minutes*

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

I wish I could get back all the minutes I've wasted running synth_design

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

I've been putting hot sauce on my hot dogs for weeks now, it's become somewhat of a thing for me these days.

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

*man inserts dead mouse into empty Redbull can, then cuts the can open for video camera as though he did not put the mouse into the can himself* Boys I believe we've found the secret to internet success.

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

@sammi_sanderss You fully misunderstood me if you think that was me being a jerk. Second I'm the state is a great accomplishment and I'm proud of them for that, but such rhetoric only detracts from the actual achievement. I know none of those boys appreciate posts like this.

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

Crayfish are scummy, bottom of the barrel, and some of the most disgusting shellfish known to man.

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

The real importance of the day

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

The second amendment was written to ensure us protection from the government. They have how many nuclear missiles and you want to get rid of our assault rifles?

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

@guskenworthy How much did you pay these people to say such things? Or are those even real people behind those accounts?

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

1: Pain is not quantifiable in any accurate method, as everyone experiences pain differently.
2: I've heard countless stories of people who've had heart attacks and didn't notice until the doctor told them they did some period of time later. https://t.co/k0WZWx9YDf

[Marie Claire @marieclaire]

Doctors Have Finally Ruled Menstrual Cramps Are as Painful as Heart Attacks https://t.co/cfQigoPhit

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

I picked the wrong week to begin amassing wealth. Valentine's day and my woman's birthday are but two days apart.

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

I think it's rude when people who don't have partners say things like "we need to get rid of Valentine's day" like excuse me some of us are actually happy and don't want this day taken from us because you feel left out

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

Just watched the guy I was speaking to pack a lip while we were walking out of programming lab and if that's not the American spirit then I'm defecting

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

How would the world be different if he was Mickey Monkey instead of Mickey Mouse?

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

New favorite pastime: going 75 in the left lane on the interstate to make people angry without being in the wrong myself

[Alex Moffitt @bamoffitt45]

PSA: you don't have to go to college. There are other options. America is experiencing a near shortage of tradespeople, and someone has to work at McDonald's and Walmart.