Pat Kane going top boobies in 2026 in a Blackhawks jersey. I feel like I’m 17 years old again. Except I’m 42 eating popcorn in bed alone without a family
NFL preseason: “Rest the starters. Someone might get turf toe.”
NBA preseason: “We need to manage their loads.”
MLB spring training: “I got a paper cut. Put me on the 10-day IL.”
NHL preseason: “Let’s fucking kill each other.”