Elyse

[Elyse @barbielyse]

Is there anything sexier than a woman who reads? Yes: Models. http://t.co/PvPRJnDxJH

[Elyse @barbielyse]

Rubbing my ass on these documents because the boss's email says to "cheek his paperwork". http://t.co/0lxgt5YfLr

[Elyse @barbielyse]

In Hidden Valley, childhood obesity is covered up in creamy ranch dressing. http://t.co/wZuFA4VeAH

[Elyse @barbielyse]

http://t.co/uZMkq2cxao Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity.

[Elyse @barbielyse]

http://t.co/BHvbWYISHi I'm writing a horror movie about realizing that I left my phone at home.

[Elyse @barbielyse]

http://t.co/XQ5tdqz8bB It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you

[Elyse @barbielyse]

http://t.co/c2dTwdqmX8 Twitter can be like talking to crazy homeless people through protective glass.

[Elyse @barbielyse]

It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you http://t.co/oR0KIY6g7A

[Elyse @barbielyse]

I wish I lived in the 1950's, because I have a few songs I want to record about my postman. http://t.co/O19XlGSGoo

[Elyse @barbielyse]

Twitter can be like talking to crazy homeless people through protective glass. http://t.co/CzzYChsb1Z

[Elyse @barbielyse]

http://t.co/8vhxmilh44 Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell.

[Elyse @barbielyse]

http://t.co/Vf0NxAfbTb Twitter can be like talking to crazy homeless people through protective glass.

[Elyse @barbielyse]

Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity. http://t.co/oteKRRUWGf

[Elyse @barbielyse]

http://t.co/3ZhVc1oSRO Rubbing my ass on these documents because the boss's email says to "cheek his paperwork".

[Elyse @barbielyse]

http://t.co/6V7u92qdXm Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell.

[Elyse @barbielyse]

Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity. http://t.co/k0ARx3cjPB

[Elyse @barbielyse]

Dad: i don't know why you wear a bra-you've got nothing to put in it. MUM: you wear pants don't you? http://t.co/DK5VM73tBY

[Elyse @barbielyse]

http://t.co/hx6Hi9OdXt It's wisest to pick the side of the person who knows the most shit about you

[Elyse @barbielyse]

http://t.co/xtCfOysRSw No matter how many times I call the hospital to complain, they won't recall my baby.

[Elyse @barbielyse]

Sneezed. Nobody blessed me. Going to hell. http://t.co/LOuXrRol0Z