bar-b

The inside of my brain is a princess themed bouncy castle. Enjoy.

[bar-b @barbieonacidd]

THIS 👏 IS 👏 IT 👏 https://t.co/xRXRwFqlJe

[bar-b @barbieonacidd]

My friends, hurry up

!
@beebooba @loljames @christopherhale @xtraforrestrial @BrandonShay10 @JamesLuzbetak @lolfacecombos @evolutionnews @DarraghRonan @bernardettewil3

[bar-b @barbieonacidd]

My friends, hurry up

!
@beebooba @loljames @christopherhale @xtraforrestrial @BrandonShay10 @JamesLuzbetak @lolfacecombos @evolutionnews @DarraghRonan @bernardettewil3

[🍁☘️Canadian Fletchy 🇨🇦 @Darth_Pingu]

#SignsYoureACOVIDIOT you said something so dumb that you made the infectious disease expert touch his face

[Governor Gavin Newsom @CAgovernor]

.@OfficialJLD you’ve never looked better. 💄

Let's bend the curve by staying home and keeping our distance, California. #StayHomeSaveLives

https://t.co/snYe5vmHg6

[The New York Times @nytimes]

The CDC has advised Americans to wear face masks to slow the spread of the coronavirus, and around the world, people are doing the same.

For your mask to be most effective, it's important that you wear it correctly.

Here are the dos and don’ts. https://t.co/GkBNJAuw1V

[bar-b @barbieonacidd]

Idk what how to present this to you properly so I’ll just do what I normally do and throw it in your general direction, hoping for the best. Thanks for always bringing the weird, @StephenKing, and for making me laugh so hard I had to put this book down to wipe my tears away.

[bar-b @barbieonacidd]

@StephenKing they’re hot on this semen trail and I just fell over laughing. Thank you

[Archive: Governor Andrew Cuomo @NYGovCuomo]

We need supplies.

We need your help.

If you can manufacture PPE I implore you to do so. NYS will pay a premium.

Email [email protected]

[Chris Murphy 🟧 @ChrisMurphyCT]

GE workers walked out today to demand their plant start making ventilators.

That’s Lord of the Flies sh*t.

Factory workers shouldn’t have to force their company to help save lives. That’s what a president is supposed to do.

But right now, factory workers are all we got.

[bar-b @barbieonacidd]

So, even if I’d die for it, I still can’t figure out how to get a @JetsPizza for under $20.

[bar-b @barbieonacidd]

Update: Chicago skateboarder just flew down the middle of the street at approx 15 mph propelled by his pit bull. Not everything is awful.

[bar-b @barbieonacidd]

Me, practicing social distancing

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

I hear that Fake News CNN just reported that I am isolated in the White House, wondering out loud, “when will life return to normal?” Does anybody really believe that? There was no leak, they made it up – they are CORRUPT & FAKE NEWS....

[bar-b @barbieonacidd]

I’m bouta pull a karate fucking chop outta nowhere on the next asshole who walks past me in Kroger like reality’s not been diluted to a silent film version of WW3.

[bar-b @barbieonacidd]

nobody is appreciating my compulsive gallows humor right now, but I can’t stopppppp

[bar-b @barbieonacidd]

Commandeer PC culture by calling everyone ‘sir’ and if they correct your ‘mistake’ apologize for mistaking them for a knight.

[bar-b @barbieonacidd]

Why isn’t anybody starting castle co-ops?

[bar-b @barbieonacidd]

@PhilanthropyGal Dudes still trying to tell us what we can’t do, smh

[bar-b @barbieonacidd]

@Paw_Naturals @Yotpo Are you open today? :)

[rax ‘levon honkers’ king @RaxKingIsDead]

i am sincerely sorry for this but based on this video i’m afraid i must inform you all that bill nye is slinging unbelievable dick

[bar-b @barbieonacidd]

@JoeKwonLaw Just call every one ‘sir’ and if they question it apologize for mistaking them for a knight