Bar Epiphany

Stuff that I think of while drinking (or bartending).

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

Bar Epiphany #187:

Q: What is the only appropriate greeting for a 1,000-foot octopus creature who has suddenly shown up to destroy all of humanity?

A: Sup Cthulhu??? What’s Kraken???

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@realDonaldTrump Nah. We’re just gonna start calling them “NAZI ICE” and “NAZI ICE FACILITIES”.

Also, fuck you, Nazi! 🖕

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@RepNancyMace The left hates YOU.

It’s undeniable.

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@RepNancyMace Fifth Place Mace claims to be against pedophilia, but just LOOOOVES defending her boss no matter what!

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@MAGAVoice You voted for corporate sponsorships on The Peoples’ House?

Uh, that’s shitty. You suck.

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@RepNancyMace Uh, you might want to start with your own boss there, Fifth Place Mace! 🖕

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@RepNancyMace You sent illegal immigrants to die in a concentration camp over the past year.

So if you’re going to insist on being Nazis, and using this tired dialogue to treat me and my veteran brethren like shit, then yeah, fuck you pay us.

Also, fuck off, pedo defenders! 🖕

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@FFT1776 Sure, Sherri.

I’ll be sure to show this to the boys at Arlington Cemetery who died trying to protect a Constitution that you decide to shit on.

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@WhiteHouse Oh, cool.

Pedophile-worshipping brainrot.

Thanks, I hate it. 🖕

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@Chicago1Ray @DAGToddBlanche STFU you triggered fucking snowflake pussy.

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@raycattie @UnrealBluegrass @SecretService Chill, bro. They’re too busy rehearsing for the next fake assassination attempt/false flag.

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@SecWar So when you get done sucking off your pedophile boss, does he finish in your eyes or do you just let him cum in your mouth?

Never thought I’d be asking the Secretary of Defense this kind of question, but here we are. Faggot. 🖕

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@FBIDirectorKash Dude, just remember your password next time. Ya coked-out fuckin moron.

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@KnightsTempOrg NOOOO LEOPARD!! EAT THEIR FACES, NOT MINE!!!! 😭 🩸 🐆

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@ender65407 🎵 WE ARE CHARLIE KIRRRK

WE HAVE BLOOD FOUNTAINS OUT OF OUR NECKS!!! 🎶

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@LoonaBean25 @ender65407

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@CynicalPublius They would have ended up on Epstein Island producing baby jerky for your favorite king.

Dipshit.

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@adamcarolla Hey, Spanky Ham! Just found a mirror! And I saw a Constitutionalist Patriot who exercised his 1st Amendment rights yesterday! But anyway, yeah, feel free to help yourself to a copy of The Constitution and a fucking science book, Man Show wash-up! 🖕 😂

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@RonFilipkowski Hey, uh, Allies?

Stop visiting us. Screen our calls until we get mental health treatment. Jesus fuck!

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@SecWar @USDASDuffey Wow, you’re such a fucking failure.

You should resign.

[Bar Epiphany @Barepiphany]

@mdtlion @ICEgov Pretti Good at being Nazis… 🖕