🪄 heauxdini 🐇

I want my crystal back, nerd.

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

This year for Mother’s Day, I pray Bela Koe-Krompecher takes his own life. It would be the perfect tribute to the last year of my mother’s life he ruined.

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

@nlyonne @cleaduvall We're definitely not a couple, but I'm a cheerleader.

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

@elonmusk You can’t even make a fucking flame thrower cool. WHO MAKES FLAME THROWERS SOMEHOW LAME?

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

@elonmusk won’t you play us a song, DJ Emo G? 🤣

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

@elonmusk You are never, ever, no matter what you do, will you ever be cool. And I understand why it behooves you that at least a cartoon virgin like Beavis (who never scored) will always be cooler. At least he could pay a girl to make his dick squirt. Yours just doesn’t. And it shows.

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

@Grimezsz Girl, please respond to my ? abt the Emerald Tablet

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

@Grimezsz Assuming yr actually u + not trapped in another castle far, far away (hey elon—private conversation here, thx 👋🏻👉🏻)
1. have you personally seen the emerald tablet? 2. do you think anyone other than the elite will get access to it in this timeline? 3. wtf do we do? 🙏❤️‍🔥

[natasha lyonne @nlyonne]

Suffice to say, things have swiftly turned post-Lynchian.

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

@tacobell Going without dinner tonight (for the third time in a month) because your company can’t ever seem to get the food I order right then after I’ve paid and received my food, has no in store options to either refund/remake my order. Raised prices lower standards?

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

@chocolateameri @BariiVolaju Reading this was the closest I’ve ever came to having a religious experience in this lifetime, and I am large fan of psilocybin, so, I’ve 🧚🏼‍♂️seen🧟‍♀️😳🤩 some shit. 😵‍💫🥹😅

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

Someone tell Patti Harrison I am very single and ready for her to come home to visit Ohio for the holidays plz and thank you 🪄🙏🙆🏻‍♀️🥹

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

@kewlshrek @gabagoolpentin Same but that’s been the rule I thought since at least ‘83?

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

@instagram It’s been almost a week since I lost access to my account and haven’t been able to log in for MYSTERY REASONS. I have done verification and sent SEVERAL EMAILS TO SUPPORT. Can anyone help me or are you all on vacation? Knock knock, anyone home???

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

@Grimezsz Is this where you got your name? Did I just decode a new level of the universe? #veruschaxox 🥀

https://t.co/luin91RKnq

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

@kelleydeal Are you going to see Thelma and The Sleaze play Bob’s tonite?

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

@kelleydeal So, okay weird, but any idea who this guy might be? I was just reading my parents’ wedding guest book (Mom just passed) and apparently I’m related to a local Deal. 🤷🏻‍♀️ No one’s ever mentioned him, so I thought I’d ask another Deal. 🥲❤️

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

@Grimezsz Austin Pets Alive on Airport

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

@Grimezsz I know a place or two! Treasure City Thrift FOR SURE.

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

@FayLudes I love you

[🪄 heauxdini 🐇 @barf_simpson]

@askulloffoxes Omg, it just hit me. Remind you of anyone? 🤣🤣🤣🤣