T Cartizzle

Life is like a sandwich. You can fill it with whatever you like. But first you gotta get that bread.

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

One of my favorite pass times is to get high as fuck and try to draw a perfect circle on an etchasketch

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

I can't wait to get fully torqued as I listen to my family's political arguments while my grandma makes enough food to feed a small village and somehow manages not to use a single grain of salt or pepper. Thanksgiving is the best.

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

I just realized I've been spelling my middle name wrong for years. I've been spelling it "Jeffery" when I should have been spelling "Jeffrey", as in Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself.

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

@MBCampanella Hell yes!

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

Me: *let's mom try my top shelf spiced rum*

Mom: "Wow this is good! It tastes like Christmas!"

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

I'm gonna pick up a new hobby of freestyle building Ikea furniture.

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

I don't mean to flex on everyone, but today I successfully ordered a Subway sandwich in Mexico City. In Spanish.

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

I took a cab in Mexico. The driver took one look at me and turned on Van Halen. I'm not sure how to feel about that.

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

Got pulled aside by TSA.

TSA agent: "why are you flying today?"

Me: "because it's the fastest way to get places"

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

@pickledatpie 🦄

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

Today at work, I saw a lady in a bathrobe and two different flip flops frisbee a pack of cigarettes at her misbehaving child to make him stop. Tooele is so magical.

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

The only reason I go to the gym is so I can watch Judge Judy without my family's judgement.

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

Got reamed in my jury for focusing on jazz and not classical. I'm sorry but I thought this was my education that I am paying for and my career I am pursuing.

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

My professor called Rush a pop band today. This is the most upset I have ever been.

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

Me: "I need to get in better shape"

Also me: *eats an entire pack of nutter butters in a day*

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

Wow I'm so glad people post things slandering my musicianship on Facebook, rather than taking issues that could have easily been resolved up with me directly.

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

Professor: "Let's play a kahoot game to review for the test"

Me, just a little too loudly: "How about I kashoot myself instead"

People around me:

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

I'm so sick of people saying you can't play a certain song or style because you don't fit into the culture that it came from. It's music. It's meant to be enjoyed by everyone and break cultural boundaries. Just fuckin play whatever resonates with you. Don't be overly PC about it.

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

@pickledatpie @MBCampanella No we'll use them for the next one

[T Cartizzle @barisaxty]

Yo fam @MBCampanella and I are recording a podcast. Send us questions to answer. Anything goes so make it saucy.