BartonStone

Hip Restoration Preacher

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

Apparently there is a new actor playing some "bat-person". I haven't seen this much controversy since we put in that drinking fountain.

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

Cane Ridge Anniversary! Almost same today- except not 30K people, just me. And not spiritual revival- just Ben and Jerry's.

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

Attention! I'm pretty sure that guy smuggled a drumset in here in his mouth! #GCG2013

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

What is all this?!!!! #GCG2013

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

We had a nice banquet honoring our seniors. We even took minute to mention someone graduating high school.

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

Sunday, while performing the third baptism of the day, church members began throwing their hats on stage. #hat trick

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

Just discovered a bounty program in our church for the baptism of certain people in our community. #Iamabouttomakebank

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

My car's cup holder isn't wide enough for the large Thisatbuster I just bought. #firstworldproblems

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

@chrislindsey317 Why am I not surprised?

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

Called Jenny Craig to see if she could help me get rid of our youth minister. She said she can only help lose weight, not dead weight.

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

My twitter was hacked by some disgruntled Youth Minister. Apparently setting your password as "password" is not secure enough.

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

I hate when I'm riding in a car and the road is too bumpy to text. #firstworldproblems

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

A young, unbaptized child took the Lord's Supper on Sunday. Good thing I l learned the Heimlich!

[RESTORATIONIST HULK @RSTORATNISTHULK]

IN ESSENTIALS, UNITY; IN NON-ESSENTIALS, CHARITY; IN ALL THINGS, SMASH!

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

New plan for ending cell phone usage during worship: SEAL Team Six.

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

The youth minister just asked why on earth anyone would plan their wedding for 4 AM. #RoyalWedding

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

When playing Paper, Rock, Scissors, I always choose rock. Predictable? Sure, but you try going into battle with just paper!

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

Prepping my annual "Every Sunday Should be Easter" sermon.

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

When you ask someone to volunteer and they say "I'll pray about it". Say "Good idea. Have God let me know if he wants you to stop."

[BartonStone @BartonStone]

Women wanting a "Ladies Class". I'm just not sure why they want to sit around in silence together. #stilldontunderstandwomen