bartsimplton

how do i work this

[bartsimplton @bartsimplton]

on my hundredth fart in the pool trying to convince people that it’s a hot tub

[bartsimplton @bartsimplton]

he’s fucking mental but he’s my friend 😊

[bartsimplton @bartsimplton]

ur actually mental bro ur so crazy like i wouldn’t even know omg

[bartsimplton @bartsimplton]

@clayclayyclayyy @twiceremover what if it didn’t reek or nathan but just was like a little bit soggy and u couldn’t bite off the wrapping paper with excitement cause you’d be eating sick?

[bartsimplton @bartsimplton]

i keep making little guys out of clay then crushing them in my hand

[bartsimplton @bartsimplton]

@clayclayyclayyy @twiceremover if ur mum wrapped ur christmas presents in dog vomit carpet would u be raging?

[bartsimplton @bartsimplton]

i don’t like when people are named dennis and it’s spelt like penis

[bartsimplton @bartsimplton]

pooping on toilet and there’s a spider and i have nothing else to throw at it so i just throw my poo 😊👍

[millieo 🐒 @monkeymillieo]

Nothing better than cracking open a #FreshBanana... 🍌 Except maybe #Coconuts 😄 #Yep #ImOrangutan 🦧

[alien @fastestUFO]

eat a fucking little fucking delicious piece of fucking candy challenge

[jery 📡 @jerydiscografik]

me running naked around the house to get a towel because there wasnt a towel in the bathroom

[bartsimplton @bartsimplton]

shoving tampons in my nose cause it’s so runny that’s real by the way #lifehack

[bartsimplton @bartsimplton]

@AlanParcels cut off a third of your thumb so then i’ll know TWO please

[bartsimplton @bartsimplton]

the thing is i know a guy named alan with two thirds of a thumb i just don’t bring it up often

[bartsimplton @bartsimplton]

@clayclayyclayyy defeating the breast

[bartsimplton @bartsimplton]

just been thinking about how some people just eat their bogeys for fun not just out of pure hunger

[bartsimplton @bartsimplton]

i reckon if u handed me a ukulele i could eat it and i would

[bartsimplton @bartsimplton]

it’s so good

[bartsimplton @bartsimplton]

i think that people don’t realise how good pouring the milk first really is

[bartsimplton @bartsimplton]

i had a thought of naming every one of my bogeys and then i was like i don’t think i know that many names

[Sir. Cumcise @clayclayyclayyy]

top ten misunderstood boners