The Alarming Life of Johnathan

X account for the lit comedy series on substack: The Alarming Life of Johnathan

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

Just created a new lit comedy series on substack. Meet Johnathan:

https://t.co/fiYf70bm1N

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

@mechamelissa Lol at 70s = summer. It makes sense for some reason 🤣

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

@BatwoMANDA Too bad... I like a woman who busts out Informer...

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

Downloading Friday the 13th remake. Yeah I said it.

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

Someone hurry up and download the post 9/11 Smackdown taping!!! #wwesale

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

I do not have the concentration to play Hitman games.

Yeah I could kill the Russian arms dealer but how about I swap my suit for this gimp outfit and poison a random guest, syke I'm the maintenance crew and I leave no witnesses, nope I'm now security flooding all the sinks.

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

Tales from parent with Alzheimer's:
My dad just tried syncing his new shoes to his cellphone via Bluetooth.

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

@KDavis206 You are crazy! Who picks Pecan?! 🤣

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

Is this thing still on....

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

How am I just finding out about Jesse Powell dying in September?! 😭

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

@KDavis206 Idaho is where they manufacture Tiffany Smileys on an assembly line.

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

I would complain about the Christmas decorations in stores but they've already been up for three weeks.

At this rate Christmas season will start the day after Labor day.

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

@mechamelissa Those miniatures I see pop up are pretty dang impressive. You might be selling yourself short.

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

Goonies < Monster Squad

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

@KDavis206 Is also worth conversation absolutely.

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

I feel like we don't talk about Sister Act enough 🤷

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

It's been a long 21 years.

Now my "heard the Mariners are good this year" tounge-in-cheek joke can be put to rest. It wasn't very funny anyways. #SeattleMariners

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

Don't leave summer. I'm not ready. 😭

[The Alarming Life of Johnathan @basement_books]

I've learned that some 40 year old men really do love mermaids enough to have an opinion on them...

Who woulda thunkit 🤷🤦