Do you know how I know I'm a hag? My gay best friend does my hair for me every three days. Wash's it and everything. I'm not even allowed to touch it. I'm his Barbie.
I'm ok with this.
I think I'm just going to stay single.
I got a bird for the love and affection, he doesn't yell at me, or call me fat, or tell me how disappointing I am.
To the people who are like "But waifu, What about sex?"
The answer is always dildos.
Iโm gonna give away $5,000 to 3 random people who retweets this and follows me! โค๏ธ Quarantine is lasting way longer than expected and I wanna keep helping out. Love you guys โญ๏ธ
While humans carry out social distancing, a group of 14 elephants broke into a village in Yunan province, looking for corn and other food. They ended up drinking 30kg of corn wine and got so drunk that they fell asleep in a nearby tea garden. ๐