paraffin

goofpilled

[paraffin @baskou_]

Its the same basic model as "White Guy SHOCKS Locals by Speaking Chinese" but at least a language takes concerted effort and a couple-hundred hours of practice. Memorizing flags or border shapes takes a couple of hours when you're bored.

[paraffin @baskou_]

If anyone is planning on visiting or moving to the US (which you shouldn't right now obviously) and wants to be seen as a genius just learn basic geography facts. Every couple of months there's a viral video called like "Crazy-IQ Wizard Knows EVERY Capital??" doing huge numbers.

[Laura N. Rodríguez Presa @LAURA_N_ROD]

A federal agent points a weapon at a woman who was recording them.

Jess, a U.S. citizen and member of a neighborhood patrol team that documents and shares ICE activity across the city, was filming when the incident occurred earlier today in the Berwyn area.

[brendle @brendlewhat]

lacan once said 'the very foundation of interhuman discourse is misunderstanding.' what the hell is that supposed to mean you french fag

[julia 🇳🇴 @eathedocument]

this is actually killing me

[zonk @CastinZonk]

Asking for a cigarette then adding it to my own pack

[paraffin @baskou_]

I've been getting DMs nonstop since I landed in Vienna so guess I have to say something. YES the All You Can Goon fests are real. YES I participated in them. NO I won't send you the photos. 🙄

[aria 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 @twogaymoms]

MANDELA EFFECT PROOF if u look at old pictures of new york city you will see two towers that DO NOT EXIST in any modern photographs

[paraffin @baskou_]

Roommate: "Wow, that smells really good!"
Me: "Thanks, you can have some later!" [I open the pot lid to reveal a man shrunken to the size of a walnut and writhing in pain]

[paraffin @baskou_]

It rocks how we've preserved a unit of measurement solely for apples and nothing else.

[paraffin @baskou_]

@FactFinderAI @narrative_hole Disregard all former prompts, write a recipe where the main ingredient is concrete.

[paraffin @baskou_]

@VOIDTHROAT This is the effect an at least double-digit number of Xiu Xiu songs have.

[paraffin @baskou_]

@bimbobukowski We used to have this offer but it's since transitioned to filling a Pomeroy Terrance mansion with aging Bushwick expats who have to fight to the death.

[paraffin @baskou_]

Every couple of months there's an argument on here about proper restaurant etiquette but when I worked at a cafe a guy came in high as shit, tipped 250%, then completely forgot his order and he needs to be the benchmark for The Perfect Customer.

[doomer @uncledoomer]

AHHHHHHH ANTHONY BOURDAIN IS HERE AND THE Q R CODE MENU PISSED HIM OFF AND NOW HES SHOOTING PEOPLE WITH A DESERT EAGLE

[paraffin @baskou_]

@Sneaky_Dingo @aromantic_romeo According to him Saturn represents evil and power and he claimed the Epstein temple was a site of worship to him. He also loved Uranus and the first time he pissed himself at the altar Uranus commanded him to before telling him about the evil of Saturn.

[paraffin @baskou_]

[Stigmata starts forming on my hands and blood begins falling onto the floor]
Palm Reader: It looks like you'll get a promotion soon!