what is a fp? an fp, or a favorite person in bpd isn't just someone you like a lot. it's not just "obsession". it's when your brain ties your emotional stability to one person and the way they treat you starts affecting your mood, how you see yourself, and especially your worth. their distance can feel unbearable. we're extremely sensitive to their behavior. they're who we constantly think about. our fear of losing them is so intense because our brain starts associating them with safety, validation, and reassurance, even just the thought of losing them can feel crippling. we experience idealization, which is when your brain puts your fp on a pedestal and their approval starts to matter more than it realistically should. we can also experience devaluation, where the same person we once idealized can suddenly feel like the source of our deepest pain after they seem distant or a change in behavior triggers our fear of abandonment. and unfortunately our perception can fluctuate between the two. none of this is fair to us or them. we didn't choose to feel things this intensely and they didn't ask to carry the kind of emotional weight our brain puts on them. and like always, i am absolutely NOT speaking for everyone with bpd.
Not to vent on main but does anyone else feel like they’ve tricked everyone else into thinking they’re a good person and are actually evil and everyone will find out about them being evil and hate them forever or