Lifeofanutcase

Adventure Seeker, Wannabe Author, Disaster DIYer, Thrift Store Junkie

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

.@RoverRadio https://t.co/sIQgSO69EC Can Jeffrey beat Josh in the baby food challenge?

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

Me:Who did you hug backstage that had glitter on?
Lucas (5) covered in glitter:How do you know?
M:How many girls did you hug?
L:....a few....

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

When people see you out and about for the first time without your child and they're like...
"Wait, where's your kid?!"
Me: Shit! I knew I was forgetting something!
#flyingsolo
#momneededabreak
#momlife

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

I sat on the couch very early this morning and watched my motivation peace out. I thought it was going to grab a quick cup of coffee...turns out it booked a trip to the Caribbean for the next few days.

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

@effinburch The face you make when your kid runs into the back of your legs with the cart

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

My 4 yr old referring to his umbilical cord: Why did you cut my power cord off my belly button? #kidssaythedarndestthings

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

#bowling #waitingforastrike

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

Walked into my 4 year old son's bedroom last night and found this...@taylorswift13 #swiftcrush

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

Huge new swimming pool and the 3 year old plays in the foot washing bucket. Should have saved the $40 for a pedicure #momlife #bucketvspool

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

"get out of the pool mom, I need to relax" #momlife #threenager

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

When someone who doesn't like children blows off your 3 year old: VERY LOUDLY to me "that guy has a bad attitude mom!" #callsitasheseesit

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

3 year old:I'm tired
Me:are you sick?!
3 year old:nope,just tired of crap
#metookid #metoo

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

@jimmyfallon As a waitress with a regular customer who would leave me a nickel every time as a tip. Took a whole summer to earn $1 #MyWorstSummerJob

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

Husband:it's mommy's birthday
3 year old:how old is mommy?
Husband:how old do you think?
3 year old:she looks really old
#thankskid #momlife

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

Wake up, burn waffles, burn more waffles...
"Here's your cereal"
"I wanted waffles
"We're out of waffles"
#momlife

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

Parallel parking with a 3 year old in the car:
Mom, you hit the curb!
Mom, there's a car there!
Mom, park somewhere else!

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

Husband goes outside with chainsaw, uses chainsaw, comes back inside with these #wtfdidyouneedachainsawfor #whatdidyoubreak

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

When it takes your 3 year old so long to get ready that your long wear lip color starts to fade #momlife

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

Can you make that salad without croutons? Um, can you breathe without air?

[Lifeofanutcase @batsinthabelfry]

3 year old: I think you need more coffee mom. You're mean.
#momisonlynicewhenshehascoffee #toddlerlife