Kewl

sinergy: the energy I get from sinning.

[🏴‍☠️ @cursedkief]

every day is April fools when you’re attracted to men

[donni saphire @donni]

Just invented a new kind of emotion… it’s when you’re calm but also insane

[Fifty Shades of Whey @davenewworld_2]

Whoever keeps those Arizona iced teas at $0.99 should be in charge of inflation

[♥mark magark♥ @markedly]

I have a very serious condition called "needing to be cozy all the time"

[Kewl @baynumpower]

Oh geez I’m the same age as Meredith Blake

[coolgirlonline @coolgirl0nline]

if i dont have a yummy treat every couple of hours my condition worsens

[Flavortown @flavortown]

Six more weeks of flavor

[Frog and Toad Bot @FrogandToadbot]

'I will do it tomorrow,' said Toad. 'Today I will take life easy.'

[fkajack @fkajack]

lady gaga was so right… just dance gonna be okay da da doo dootn

[Kewl @baynumpower]

Thick thighs, thin patience

[Kewl @baynumpower]

Haul ass smoke grass

[lucy westenra ♱ @bIoodfangs]

“you’re pretty” yes but am i hauntingly beautiful? if dracula saw me in the streets of romania would he be so mesmerized by my beauty that he would start writing a bunch of poems about how much he craves my body and my blood?

[ellie schnitt @holy_schnitt]

no new year’s resolution this year as i’ve recently discovered I’m perfect and I require no changes

[Kewl @baynumpower]

My favorite thing about staying at my parents is that they both wake up at 6 AM, then proceed to vacuum, do dishes, blare the TV, basically just make as much noise as possible despite multiple people still asleep. 😒

[clintoris @clintoris]

The government should send everyone $5000 and a blunt