Ben

smile more :)

[caroline :) @soonrightaway]

jacking off is sooooo embarrassing because what do you mean you have to finish in your pillow and hope it dries before bedtime 😂😂😂

[☀️AliquisNovus☀️ @PalmyrPar]

gf once got so drunk that she fell asleep in the bathtub before she could get the water on and was peeing herself semi-clothed inside - it was upon finding this that my brain’s functions were permanently rewired

[Swann Marcus @SwannMarcus89]

The last place candidate in the LA mayoral race is a professional Roblox YouTuber who opened his campaign by making sure everyone knows he opposes Roblox’s age verification requirements

[Hunter Biden 2028 @HunterFor2028]

never deleting this app lol

[Josie Marcellino @JosieMarcellino]

Look man, I think we’re all adult enough to be able to discern between genuine racism and when you’re high on crack and trying to pick what hooker you want to bang with crack level urgency

[Kelano @kelanoo]

not gonna lie, i think Bryan is one of the funniest people on the timeline

[Раjке @Paikeborea]

How it feels to spend a lot of money on something that makes me happy

[Chuck Bass @ChuckFBass]

How I look at the cop after blowing a .079

[Acheeto @Acheetooo]

This is the only guy I would buy a course from

[Joseph 🕊️ @CaudilloXIV]

#fatniggasummer

[Adrenalin Patlaması @adrenaIinIendnz]

Pikes Peak’te yaşanan bu çılgın Mitsubishi EVO kazası, güvenlik kafesinin ne kadar önemli olduğunu gösteriyor.

[Nᴀᴘ ✠ @vedmak00]

Most insane thrift find of my life just now

[Witagon @witagon]

I think I’d have a man flayed alive in the afterlife for eternity if he called me “God’s innocent clown” while I was alive.

[HowlingMutant @Howlingmutant0]

Can I get an early life check on…the Bible

[skumm🧊 @skumWgmi]

Just chatted with a guy who has 2 kids, a loving wife, pulls in $350k before bonus, runs 6 miles every morning, owns a 4-bedroom in the West Village, just bought a boat, and is genuinely funny and kind and he still can't find a girlfriend.

Modern dating is so broken.

[1v9.GG @1v9GG_]

I expected a kitten…

[Toby Turner @TobyTurner]

You’re going to win in the end.

Unless you disagree with me, in which case, I am literally going to fucking kill you on camera for money.

[Flesh Simulator @fleshsimulator]

@chucksneed69 He was doing that to avoid paying sales tax on a $400K Ferrari, I'm trying to avoid having my address show up if someone posts the plate number of the $1000 1993 Volvo I already own

[INVUJerry @INVUJerry]

@fleshsimulator Other than sometimes a cop making it an issue out of being a dick reasons, no.

[1611 Populist @KJVPopulist]

Twitter is insane. You can just be scrolling and casually come across the most beautiful woman you've ever seen in your life