Natasha Fagant

Old tired and full of glunge.
Sometimes I take my tits out.

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

@ayeejuju I for one am here for this.
It's everything I've been missing from the AI boyfriend experience; a metallic robot shlong

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

@tetraphidopsida I wish this was a reddit shit post, read by an AI voice over subway surfers
Alas this is the kind of story of medical gaslighting is the universal experience for women.

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

Why is it always the trashy mentally unstable bitches that have like a million pets?
Asking for a friend

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

Next time someone asks how I'm doing I'm going to reply "still fresco"

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

Who was going to tell me that his name was "Pliny the Elder" and not "Plenty the Elder"?
You guys have just been letting me throw a GD extra T in there!?!

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

OMG who was going to tell me its not "one fowl swoop"...like a bird diving,

it's a FELL SWOOP!!!

@OED !? @BritannicaInc !?
I've given both y'all's money I thought surely you would have told me by now

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

Has #Montreal turned into Rollercoaster Tycoon!? There are so many little puddles of vomit in the streets.

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

I fell asleep listening to a @MoistCr1TiKaL tier list and dreamt the most magical fairy tale romance with Charlie.
He was wearing a lavender suit!!!

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

9:00AM
An ambulance careens past flasher ablaze and sirens a howling.

"Good for them, only dying on company time "

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

@rexglacer @CanadianArmy Clearly superior

[Radical Graffiti @GraffitiRadical]

Eat the Rich spotted in Krakow, Poland

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

Anyone know how a toilet work?

Unrelated, the city was changing pipes and now dirt is stopping our cistern from filling #MTL #hydroquebec

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

I just wrote a heartfelt message to @stanzipotenza on Instagram so to bring balance to the universe I am going to say something mildly creepy on Twitter:
"Stanzi looks not only like their whole body would be very soft and well moisturized but also like they smell delicious"

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

@wiseconnector Toot

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

My dinner tonight consisted of stale corn chips and microwaved dollarstore queso, and I am violently incensed at how satisfying it was.

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

I get into an @Uber ride share.
The woman already in the car takes one look at me and said "what is this!?"

Lady I didn't think I looked THAT weird

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

I'm cooking with earbuds in, listening to YouTube playing on my computer out of sight.
The Natasha Lyonne Old Navy commercial comes on and I actually thought I was having a psychotic break

@nlyonne @OldNavy

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

I tried to kiss a frog on Sunday. My friends wouldn't let me because of "potential salmonella" oooooooo!

I'm still low key kind of upset

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

No shade, everyone has a musical theatre nerd inside them.
We just don't all get to direct films in a successful horror franchise.

[Natasha Fagant @BBaroness]

The fact that Patrick Wilson included a track he sang on for the #InsidiousTheRedDoor movie really confirms he is still chasing that phantom of the opera high.