b

please don't tell my boss i have a twitter

[b @bbmcguire]

@bigballoonguy kelly?

[b @bbmcguire]

@bigballoonguy no u weren't, i was there

[b @bbmcguire]

@bigballoonguy it was me

[b @bbmcguire]

@JoeySunblock @jaxtanf and i, *ka-ching*, sex change your baby

[Ali Nugent @OfAllThingsAli]

great news for my boyfriend who is obsessed with this guy

[b @bbmcguire]

ladies, sometimes you really just need a man in your life. who else would say stuff like "well an 18-wheeler has 18 wheels" to you?

[Andy Ryan @ItsAndyRyan]

Me: So what do you do?
Her: I research genomes
Me: I love those little dudes, but you know it's actually pronounced 'gnomes'

[Kylie Brakeman @deadeyebrakeman]

brands running low on International Women's Day ideas

[b @bbmcguire]

@bigballoonguy well behaved barstool founders rarely make history 😤

[b @bbmcguire]

@bigballoonguy to add a little whimsy to life!!!

[b @bbmcguire]

@bigballoonguy >:-|

[b @bbmcguire]

when ur getting a haircut and they tell u how pretty and healthy ur hair is

[b @bbmcguire]

@JoeySunblock wait i'm sorry but this is so funny

[b @bbmcguire]

@bigballoonguy it's AI

[b @bbmcguire]

@tkminajj ninki minjaj

[b @bbmcguire]

@bigballoonguy u did on the phone omg u have amnesia

[b @bbmcguire]

i keep telling erin we have twin telepathy and she keeps saying hurtful things like "we're 2 years apart"

[b @bbmcguire]

does nail polish dry quicker these days or have i just finally learned patience?

[b @bbmcguire]

getting my masters is like "if i work really hard now i can also work really hard later!!" why am i doing this

[b @bbmcguire]

just caught myself saying "aw spoilers :/" about a 400 year old play