You can literally say the exact same things back to men in reverse, and they lose their minds. For many men, a relationship is not worth it unless they can establish a double standard that gives them unfair benefit from the relationship. Suss this out early.
low self esteem definitely but also the belief that at some point those people will appreciate you enough to reciprocate it. the lesson isn’t to stop being enthusiastic, but accept that lack of mutual enthusiasm or urgency is too imbalanced to maintain.
I wish more women realized this: Men are built to do. To rise. To meet a challenge. Women are meant to be in their softness—rest, pleasure, beauty, ease.
So stop shrinking yourself into “low maintenance.” That’s not your power. Your power is having standards. Hold them.
Let him rise to them. Let him show up. Let him contribute. Let him solve, provide, plan, and pursue.
You don’t have to overcarry your life to be worthy of love. You don’t have to exhaust yourself to deserve devotion. Nothing is wrong with you.
You’ve just been taught that your value lives in your output, when it was always in your presence.