Bon Bon the D

Don't go too far back in my twitter history. I didn't start being funny until 2017.

[Bon Bon the D @bcorry37]

I like my Millennials shook, not stirred.

[Bon Bon the D @bcorry37]

I’m not one to tweet complaints, but come on @sonicdrivein even fast food has to have some standards.

[Bon Bon the D @bcorry37]

Just saw a sign that said “diamonds were a girl’s best friend, then Botox came along” so it’s good to know that the beauty industry is still horrible.

[Bon Bon the D @bcorry37]

@danksideofmeme

[Bon Bon the D @bcorry37]

@danksideofmeme I messaged a cousin for the first time awhile back just so I could stay at his place while I learned to pole dance. Turns out cousins are good for that kind of thing.

[Bon Bon the D @bcorry37]

@peepeedee I’m always on the lookout for Cody’s. They are all the same person I’m pretty sure.

[Ames/Raccacoonie @tomtribbleston]

Am I a traffic law in Utah? Because I feel ignored.

[Bon Bon the D @bcorry37]

Can I plug up your mouth with my mouth? -Me, a very successful kisser

[Saddington 3 (in theaters) @2Saddington]

A Sonic Boom is when Sonic reaches the speed of sound and his ass cheeks clap together

[Bon Bon the D @bcorry37]

I didn’t watch Mr Roger’s Neighborhood as a kid, but after watching just one episode (I’m almost 30) I wish I had. It took me a long time to learn how to care about others the way he does.

[Bon Bon the D @bcorry37]

@SarahKSilverman @MarkRuffalo It’s good to see that celebrities also tweet weird things at celebrities. On a related note: @ZacEfron I’m still waiting to hear if we’re still friends after I sat next to you in the bus in HSM.

[Bon Bon the D @bcorry37]

@jazz_inmypants Marshallese: buruomej
English: Sad
Literal: my heart is dead

[aubrey @itsonlyaubrey]

if you have ever wondered why a woman online has not answered your dm or befriended you, it is because there are girls out there getting their heads sawn off for it

[Bon Bon the D @bcorry37]

If you take all the Spider-Man movies together, then Peter’s Linked In profile must be a nightmare. He is connected to literally every single megalomaniac on the planet.

[Bon Bon the D @bcorry37]

@baddestmamajama Well, I had a guy give my book 2 out of 5 stars after reading literally one paragraph, so that was something.

[Klutch @KlutchGame]

So we had to put a cone on my dog again. My cat loves it

[Bon Bon the D @bcorry37]

@Nicole_Cliffe This is pretty accurate. Except for Ringu. I’d replace Ringu with Last Shift and then this would be the perfect list.

[Bon Bon the D @bcorry37]

Sometimes I think, why doesn’t the rest of the world like Americans? It’s nice of Twitter to provide constant reminders for me.

[Bon Bon the D @bcorry37]

@DineshDSouza If possible, I’m the creepy statue hiding behind the chair, waiting for this social event to be over.

[Megan Amram @meganamram]

PARENTS DO NOT VACCINATE YOUR CHILD!! I vaccinated my baby and now 60 years later he has an Old face, too soft hands, horrible looking. DISGUSTING why is he alive so long

[Bon Bon the D @bcorry37]

@elizaskinner Pretty sure I do my part.