The year is 2090. There are 125 teams in the NHL. There is now a team on Mars. Jaromir Jagr is the captain of the team. He is 118 years old. Gary Batman is still the commissioner, he is dating AOC. There are 200 games in the regular season. The season begins in August and ends in July. There are 40 outdoor games a year, the Blackhawks are playing in all of them. Mark Messier and PK subban co-GM the best team in the league, the Bay Area Baristas. They are rivals with the Capitol Stormers who play out of Arlington Texas. Connor McDavid’s son is the leading scorer of the league. He has 700 points in 8 games. I’m running out of shit to say right now. Was just doing this while I wait for my car at valet. It’s pulling up now. Forgot what I even wrote in this. $100 to valet a car in NYC for the night lol. That’s baseball.
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🚨 OFFICIAL: NHL confirms all 32 teams will release new special-edition “Hometown Remix” jerseys for 2026-27, with details shortly after the season begins.
The long-rumored collection will “uniquely and authentically celebrate the fans, city, and local culture of each team”