B-don Jep-town

improviser

[B-don Jep-town @bdonornot]

@MJMcKean Is this how you spend your Saturdays?

[B-don Jep-town @bdonornot]

@RMSOBigfoot Well, I live in Seattle, so… 👣

[B-don Jep-town @bdonornot]

@MrGeorgeWallace We just got rid of ours last week!

[B-don Jep-town @bdonornot]

“Parking lots aren’t wholesome.” #StuffMyWifeSays

[B-don Jep-town @bdonornot]

“I ate a pickle yesterday and now I can’t get my ring off.”

#stuffmywifesays

[B-don Jep-town @bdonornot]

Last night I dreamed that I met Mark Hamill. I asked him what his favorite movie was, and he replied "Sister Act." @MarkHamill, is this true in real life, or just in my dream?

[B-don Jep-town @bdonornot]

“FAMILY MEANS MATCHING PJ’S!”
#StuffMyWifeSays

[𝐑. Å𝐥í | Secrets of Dune @SecretsOfDune]

The year of DUNE Part Two!

[Greta Thunberg @GretaThunberg]

A reminder: the people in power don’t need conferences, treaties or agreements to start taking real climate action. They can start today.
When enough people come together then change will come and we can achieve almost anything. So instead of looking for hope - start creating it.

[Kids Write Jokes @KidsWriteJokes]

what do you call a spider in a suit. business legs

[B-don Jep-town @bdonornot]

“Any log can be a yule log if I say it is.” #StuffMyWifeSays

[Kermet Apio @kermetapio]

I’m worried I’ll be suspended from Twitter because the other night I disclosed, out loud, the exact location of Colonel Mustard.

[B-don Jep-town @bdonornot]

@kermetapio Was he in the Lounge?

[B-don Jep-town @bdonornot]

“Do you want to hang some of your Christmas ornaments… in the back of the tree?” #stuffmywifesays

[Kids Write Jokes @KidsWriteJokes]

man:waiter how long will my pizza be ?

waiter:not very long. lol

[B-don Jep-town @bdonornot]

@RealJohnGlover It’s my #1 favorite Christmas movie!!!

[Kids Write Jokes @KidsWriteJokes]

WHY BABIES DO NOT TALK ?

BECAUSE THEY HAVE INVISIBLE YAM IN THEIR MOUTH.

[B-don Jep-town @bdonornot]

@MeredthSalenger Hey, great cameo in the Weird Al movie!

[B-don Jep-town @bdonornot]

“Is there still Halloween in Star Trek times?”

#StuffMyWifeSays

[B-don Jep-town @bdonornot]

Today I found out Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome has never seen #Shawshank. He needs to rectify that immediately. But who am I to talk? I didn’t see #Jaws until a month ago.