Bree

roses are red, violets are blue, it don’t always be like that, but sometimes it do.

[mugiwara @ZOverwhelming]

imagine your card declines at brunch and the server takes your phone and deletes the boomerang of clinking mimosas that you took

[Casey Frey @caseykfrey]

In public coughing is like the new shitting ur pants

[sarah lugor! @sarahlugor]

me accidentally ruining all my friendships by never texting or facetiming anyone back ❤️

[Bree @bds812]

@makyla_herrera or asked questions like “what were you wearing”, “what were you drinking”, “were you being flirty”, crazy that it can literally come down to what kind of underwear you had on at the time.

[s @mmuunnrroo]

I love seth rogen’s approach to racists

[Diego Lopez @thisdiegolopez]

Cops are straight up like, we’ll fucking kill you if you keep saying that we kill people

[Bree @bds812]

Y’all ever get so bored you start setting peoples contact pictures in your phone

[STARDUST @6starman]

Work as a butler in a haunted mansion and put your little hand in the mashed potatoes

[Bree @bds812]

i wanna go ahead and personally apologize to my future spouse

[Bree @bds812]

& fuck the environment all in one 🤪

[lajoy🧚🏽‍♀️ @lajoy1x]

Some poeple call it the struggle.. I call it fuck them dishes 😂😂

[Bree @bds812]

@makyla_herrera Dass a buggy

[Bree @bds812]

Civilians talking about getting drafted for the war

Me, an asthmatic:

[sensory homunculette @myfriendcallie]

if you don’t like pickles keep that shit to yourself that’s fucking embarrassing