beanboy4

[🇲🇽 @orbitbullets]

Someone just started working out

[coworker @temuchainz]

stupid woman thinks she's smart because of her PhD in astrophysics, but little does she know that i am really good at toys

[🎷🦭 Ponsuke 🎷🦭 @PonsukeTheSilly]

telling googles ai that im eating and drinking increasing amounts of salami and monster energy until it starts shouting at me to get help

[Eren 💋 @erenfromtargets]

the way hantavirus saw nobody giving af and just left

[✩⋆｡°kronk⋆｡°✩ @krrronk]

foundational text

[ɔ @chelseaaabee_]

god gives his greatest gifts to the most ungrateful

[Leah Dionne @leahdionne__]

Babe wake up, another photo of a British figurehead looking terrified in a car just dropped

[Softboy @softboywin]

I think smartphones are ruining our lives but also if I had to go to the airport in 1998 with just my wits & a subway map I’d kill myself

[boggart @spursy_boggart]

It’s like watching your parents divorce except a 7 man poly group raising you and it’s the second most annoying dad leaving

[Sha Sha @humphriezz]

Giving up your chance with a hot girl in the hopes you make a few guys on twitter giggle is gayer than gay sex

[angel @profesionlangel]

the “looksmaxxing” epidemic was the closest thing males have ever experienced to the beauty standards women are upheld to all their lives and it literally made them all insane

[cj- @cjnieI]

I love that 1 second preview of your photo where it looks beautiful right before ur iphone deep fries it

[wendell sandico @wendellsandico]

people who upload pictures of restaurant menus to google maps are our modern day saints

[Raven @ravenalternativ]

UK heat got me starfishing on my bed stark bollock naked with a £12 Tesco fan blowing air that feels like someone sighing on me

[Anne 🐗🐍🦃 @GovernorAnne]

I would never hike Mount Everest because I have IBS so with my luck I’d have to pop a squat at high altitude and not have enough oxygen to stand back up and end up with an Everest corpse Wikipedia page where they call me The Shitting Girl

[Lynsey Parker @LynseyJParker]

What the hell did Brum do?

[goobi @goobi825276]

oh thats good I'm in the black charred zone . brilliant

[ellen🍸 @algorecrave]

can he consider banning it for over 65s too

[zoe 🍀🐝 @antxpia]

england was shitting out hail last week and now it's going to be 35c next week. Yeah okay mate we're just doing whatever arent we just having a right laugh