Ben

[Ben @beanbrop]

How many pregnancies occur each year after a response to 'honk if you're horny' on America's interstates?
#hopefullynone

[Ben @beanbrop]

@arm_meg drafts email whilst wearing lady's pant suit

subject: "pear"
message:
"how do I eat it? Can I bite the skin like an apple?"

[Ben @beanbrop]

@tacojointLP duck bills, grape relish, pigeon feet, mustard, topped with a green mallard feather

[Ben @beanbrop]

One less place to consider for sofa shopping. No but srsly hope no one was hurt

[Ben @beanbrop]

@dcarnres even though you were better than me at "measuring dicks", I'm telling you, I still won the contest bc my dick was the biggest

[Ben @beanbrop]

Is it still considered cheating if it happens through the glory hole of a truck stop rest station bathroom?

[Ben @beanbrop]

When you really think about it, a baby is like a little football, that poops and cries, and that's really hard to throw a good spiral with

[Ben @beanbrop]

@RyanBingham we came from Chicago to see ya today, sunrise please?!?

[Ben @beanbrop]

Don't be embarrassed if you were the product of a failed Groupon abortion

[Ben @beanbrop]

Less meetings and memorandums, more dick measuring contests, I say

[Ben @beanbrop]

What's a matter you? Someone poop in your coffee this mornin?
#notarealsaying,justmadeitup,justnow,forrealz

[Ben @beanbrop]

Ya, the worm is a good dance move, it's just not generally well-received when performed in the nude, at center court, during halftime

[Ben @beanbrop]

@RyanBingham My Irish song request for the Dallas show - Galway Girl by Steve Earle, think you guys could do it right

[Ben @beanbrop]

A picture of a picture #sofriggindeepandhaught

[Ben @beanbrop]

@thatsjustmurmz believe it, my uncle terry got expelled from college for smoking weed out of a garlic dill pickle!!

[Ben @beanbrop]

@thatsjustmurmz hahahahahahahahahaha, couldn't agree more, what's volleyball?

[Ben @beanbrop]

Can we all just agree that Danny Glover is now officially too old for this shit?

[Ben @beanbrop]

Kids these days and their sexting! What ever happened to a good old-fashioned chat room 'cyber' sesh?