zoidberg’s daughter

if i were you i would simply like my tweets (she/her)

[zoidberg’s daughter @beansallad]

step sibling porn definitely stemmed from the sexually tensive relationship between Casey and Derek from Life With Derek

[zoidberg’s daughter @beansallad]

“I had to fight a homeless man for my phone yesterday morning…” - Brandon entering my house

[zoidberg’s daughter @beansallad]

“…i thought it was funny, I was like ‘im going to kill your entire family’, anyway…it wasn’t that big of a deal” - jamie telling about her 11 yr old self

[zoidberg’s daughter @beansallad]

family guy taught me how to say Joaquin Phoenix out loud properly

[zoidberg’s daughter @beansallad]

the weird part about having lived in two cities is that sometimes i see someone that looks familiar but i’m not sure if i know them or if they’re a doppelgänger of someone i knew back home

[zoidberg’s daughter @beansallad]

it doesn’t sit right w me that people can’t camp on crown land i think the queen hates the homeless

[zoidberg’s daughter @beansallad]

to the ladies that found themselves nhl boyfriends………rock on and i will forever be envious!! GET THAT BAG!!!

[zoidberg’s daughter @beansallad]

one of my biggest fears in life is to become so lost i turn to religion

[Rebecca @becceronline]

meanwhile, in the munnels:

[zoidberg’s daughter @beansallad]

i’m not explaining myself it just is

[zoidberg’s daughter @beansallad]

Brampton is the Chicago of Ontario

[zoidberg’s daughter @beansallad]

sometimes i’m like “i’m not a true pisces” and then i remember the time i was driving and saw a box in a field (in the winter), convinced myself it was full of kittens and cried because i didn’t save them

[zoidberg’s daughter @beansallad]

my friend has a behavioural therapist for one (of six) of her cats

[madimoiselle ♡ @drivingmemadi]

get to work

[sensory homunculette @myfriendcallie]

surely THIS will be the purchase that finally fills the deep hole of sadness and dissatisfaction within me

[zoidberg’s daughter @beansallad]

i wish that i could find the assignment i wrote in grade 3 where i was asked which celebrity i would love to meet and i wrote Pharell Williams

[dana donnelly @danadonnelly]

walking out of the restaurant w my pants unbuttoned aka the ultimate compliment to the chef

[zoidberg’s daughter @beansallad]

I am actually so jealous of all the moms that get the dress their babies for their first Halloween 🥺🖤

[zoidberg’s daughter @beansallad]

@amyskippper I forgor 💀