BeardedTater

Professional Dork

[BeardedTater @beardedtater]

My Current Situation... Trigger Warning...

Read: https://t.co/8Dx57Ib7yB

[Unlimited L's @unlimited_ls]

"I juz axed if he wuz chimpin out"

[Lunix @SolLunix]

Corporation: "We made $4B but spent $3.9B so we only owe taxes on $100M."
Government: "Totally reasonable."

You: "I made $60K but spent $58K on survival."
Government: "You owe taxes on $60K."
You: "That's not—"
Government: "File by May 15."

[yahi. @yahiamicealt]

how it feels to ask the gc who wants to play videogames and get left on read

[Rooster @TheRooster]

Catching bro online playing OUR game without a "hop on" text

[MLB @MLB]

FIVE straight wins and a SWEEP for the @Astros!

[_NamrokNamrok_ @_NamrokNamrok_]

Indian scammer falls for an Indian phishing scam

[NFL @NFL]

Texans, OL Wyatt Teller agree to two-year deal. (via @RapSheet + @MikeGarafolo)

[Orikron 🇵🇹 骆培思 @orikron]

This is smart but they need to make inflatable fake hospitals and schools to really throw off the US and Israel

[Trophy Husband 🏆 @Brian_onX]

Johnny Depp was awarded 10 million for being with a mentally ill woman and i’m out here doing it for free

[Mightykeef @MightyKeef]

Someone’s grandparents are gonna see this on Facebook and flip their shit.

[Daniel Di Martino @DanielDiMartino]

They're taking our meth jobs! 😂

[Asanwa.sol @Chizitere_xyz]

There is a whole generation of men out here who are absolutely exhausted from being the "transitional guy." They come into your life, absorb all the trauma your toxic ex left behind, provide stability, and love you gently. But because your brain is still addicted to chaos, you mistake his consistency for a lack of passion. You drain his peace to heal yourself, and then abandon him because there isn't enough "drama" to keep you entertained. Men are constantly being used as emotional handymen to fix damage they didn't cause, only to be discarded the second the foundation is stable. It is pure emotional vampirism.

[Brian Allen @allenanalysis]

🚨 BREAKING: James Talarico just defeated Jasmine Crockett in the Texas Democratic Senate primary.

Big result. Crockett had the national profile and the following — Talarico won anyway.

Dan Crenshaw lost his Republican primary today too.

Texas is shifting. Both parties are seeing their establishment picks rejected in a single day.

Voters are angry. And they’re making it known.

2026 is going to be a reckoning.

[ARC Central @TheARCcentral]

Anyone else?

[Assal Rad @AssalRad]

The difference is by design.

[ARC Raiders Media @MediaARCRaiders]

Just what we wanted Embark, thanks.

#ArcRaiders | #ArcRaidersGame

[BeardedTater @beardedtater]

Oh we about to be in HELL lol

[ARC Raiders Informer @ArcRaidersInfo]

First in game look at the 2 new Arc Threats… 😅

THEY DO NOT FUCK AROUND 💥💀

[Hassan Mafi ‏ @thatdayin1992]

Americans realizing thier gov has been illegally taxing their groceries for over a year and pedophile billionaires are getting the refund instead of them

[ً @prinkasusa]

My man said something to me that really stuck.
He told me, “I’m not here to control you. I’m not your dad, I’m your partner. You’re free to make your own choices. Just understand that every choice has consequences. If you choose something that damages what we’ve built, that’s on you.”
He said, “I’ll always tell you when something hurts me or crosses a boundary, because that’s what healthy communication looks like. But if you keep stepping over the line after I’ve shown you where it is, then you were never really protecting us to begin with.”
And honestly, that’s what accountability in a relationship sounds like.