4 hours before i fly to forced impatient a day after my entire life changed my main support system aka my close friend group had a severe falling out and are refusing to tell me all the details to "not stress me out more" oh my fucking god i'm going to fucking off myself
seeing my parents for the first time since i lost all my weight from recovery makes me want to die i can see their eyes track my body and catalogue every new scar and bone and angle. i want to see love in their eyes not grief
@Svynzu this is so sweet stp it ๐๐๐ฉท๐ฉท it means a lot to me thank u sm genuinely.. it's gonna be hard but ik it's what's best in the long run ๐โโ๏ธ๐ฆtake care of urself aswell okie ๐
packing my stuff from my dorm๐ i am officially withdrawn from my college and set to be admitted monday at 5 ๐๐๐ hoping to have my phone still sigh.
@khemikcal@dollybbyface in general that's true but it's really nuanced especially in the case of ed related health.. even as my heart was actively stopping and my kidney was shutting down from starving i still had my period
trying not to be triggered by my friend calling her dog big and fat bc he got weighed at the vet and is 104 lbs
this morning i weighed in 104 ๐ฅน
so is this a loss bc she called him fat or a win bc im the same weight as a dog lmfao
i told my mom abt my eating disorder today over the phone, since im being admitted monday and it's the first time i've ever heard her cry . oh my god i am an awful daughter
this is not happening yhiISNT HAPPENING oh my god i can't believe i just got to lw and they are forcing me back ohmy GOD IDONT WAN TTO BE FAT KILL ME OHMYHODDDD
oh my bod they are literally forcing me to go. i have until monday to pack and withdraw from school wtf. wtf. wtf i can't do this i don't want to recover i don t want to gain weight. NOT fucking happening
i feel like im forcing all my friends and family to watch me die and that's bc i am but it hasn't clicked yet lmao
i turned down the last facility in the entire us that would take me this morning
im going to die this way
i feel like im forcing all my friends and family to watch me die and that's bc i am but it hasn't clicked yet lmao
i turned down the last facility in the entire us that would take me this morning
im going to die this way
@dontcrysaanjh pls dw!! when i was literally hospitalized for heart failure for being uw (bmi 13.8) i got my period back the same night for the first time in months w/ no explanation (before they even treated me lmao)
there really is no relevance to how thin/unhealthy u are to ur period!