Beat!

[Beat! @beatmed1]

Has not got a contract! Hope I find a new job soon!! #notthisagain

[Brinny @BrinnyDoes]

This has made my day. The guy from Up actually exists:

[Beat! @beatmed1]

Has got shingles #reallydontwantit

[Beat! @beatmed1]

@CuthbertsonTom. Gay boy! What you up to?

[Beat! @beatmed1]

@stephenfry that looks like the A11 towards Thetford!

[What The F*** Facts @WhatTheFFacts]

Einstein scored 160 on his IQ test, whereas Marilyn Monroe scored 8 points more than him (168).

[Mind Blowing @TheMindBlowing]

Chuck Norris was born May 6, 1945. The Nazis surrendered May 7, 1945. Coincidence?

[BBC Health News @bbchealth]

Air ambulance services grounded http://t.co/CFhh25HL

[Mind Blowing @TheMindBlowing]

Lazy fact #75483912765859723, You were too lazy to read that number.

[Beat! @beatmed1]

#awkward

[Mind Blowing @TheMindBlowing]

89% of people reading this will not find the the mistake in this A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z. RT if you find it.

[The Economist @TheEconomist]

A nosedive by an Air Canada flight is caused by a fatigued pilot who mistook the planet Venus for another plane http://t.co/uzFfBxvO

[Alan G Partridge @ThisisPartridge]

Paperback of autobiog(raphy) out next wk. Just been told my PA did NOT need to retype the manuscript. Publisher keeps the Word doc on file!

[What The F*** Facts @WhatTheFFacts]

In Terminator 2, Schwarzenegger only spoke 700 words and was paid $15 million. That means 'Hasta la vista, baby' cost $85,716!

[Beat! @beatmed1]

@richardosman Did you really get that maths teaser, that quick, or was it good editing?

[Beat! @beatmed1]

A commentator on itv just said how noble the England football team were giving their match fees to charity, is that not tax deductible?

[Beat! @beatmed1]

Still waiting for visa! Could this possibly take longer?!

[Beat! @beatmed1]

Awesome http://t.co/DOfzrYxh

[Beat! @beatmed1]

Flood starts alongside Wilkinson - http://t.co/ZVgqomLI

[Beat! @beatmed1]

Russia stops buying Kalashnikovs - http://t.co/FtmpsEft