Bedside Bitch, RN

Between a ROSC and a hard place 🩺

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

Patients be like "it's my emotional support call light"

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

fuck a mental health day I need a mental health year

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

How about instead of this RN, MSN, FNP-BC, CCRN, CMSRN, CNE bullshit we all just cut to the chase and call ourselves RN, DNR

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

The Joint Commission should really start handing out job applications to all the Rectal Foreign Object admits in the ER since they love hiring people who have a stick up their ass

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

My soulmate is out there somewhere finishing their full course of antibiotics

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

Physically I’m not retirement age but emotionally I’m well past retirement age

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

High difficulty escape room concept: you are in a needy patient’s room and you have one hour to get out of their room

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

@thedacare Don’t worry Thedacare admin. You have to have a heart to get heart disease. You’re safe. #fuckthedacare

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

Love when recruiters ask me if I have experience at a level 1 Trauma Center. Bitch every hospital is a Trauma Center why do you think I have PTSD

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

Doing q1hr neurochecks hits different when you work nights. Like…I’m perpetually sleep-deprived. I haven’t seen the sun in four days. I have no idea what day of the week it is. I’m really out here asking my patients orientation questions when I ain’t even A&Ox4 myself?? Tf

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

If you havin mask problems I feel bad for you son, I got n95 problems and stank breath is one

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

Fuck refer a friend, hospitals gotta start offering “refer an enemy” bonuses lol I wouldn’t wish this hellscape on a friend

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

You’re gonna start a line on my patient but only give me one lumen?? That’s small picc energy

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

If you or a loved one have been diagnosed with being an American, you may be entitled to financial compensation for your medical costs... LOL JK nah that’s your problem. That’ll be $5000 for the ambulance ride, cash or credit?

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

I could never marry a pharmacist. Misplace one thing and they’d be asking me in a condescending voice “did you check in the fridge?”

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

Who needs ASMR when I can sit here and listen to my patient coughing up phlegm at what seems like an impossibly high volume

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

Somebody get JAHCO some fall risk bands cause them bitches be trippin

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

Yo I’m so excited for the day I can stop wearing a mask and just raw dog the air again

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

Don’t you just love those days at work where you’re kicking ass and feeling confident and then you have to do basic math and your brain is just like...*windows shut down noise*

[Bedside Bitch, RN @bedside_bitch]

Things nursing school didn’t prepare me for: the amount of heart-to-heart conversations I’ve had with my coworkers while we wipe an intubated patient’s ass together.