Jose Lamas

[snorling @sheanorling]

“the pope is weak on crime” is a top-5 funniest thing any politician has said ever in history

[nile @nileandah]

this is my version of an egot

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

I've never found a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

In fairness to Jesus, "One of you will betray me" is a great dinner party conversation opener.

[Grosdoriane @Grosdoriane]

[The most 20-25 minutes away guy you have ever heard in your entire life] yeah, i'm about 12 minutes away.

[◥◤Kriston Capps 250 @kristoncapps]

DC, Maryland, Virginia

[Degen CPA | Drew @DrewVento]

I’ll admit, when I was a kid in the 90s I definitely thought that Kid Rock would have less direct involvement with military operations

[Alice Mills @millsalice144]

I’m going to teach the world what propreantepenultimate means, even if it’s the fifth to last thing I ever do.

[Cohen is a ghost @skullmandible]

most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns

[Jose Lamas @Beebster1117]

@JohnCrottyNBA is it for tonight? i could potentially buy them off you if you’re selling, i live close by that theatre

[Jose Lamas @Beebster1117]

@JessicaLBurbank happens a lot, even a minor issue with the plane would prompt the pilot to squawk 7700.

[GL @gldivittorio]

Trump after being called habibi once

[Jose Lamas @Beebster1117]

@billbarnwell i think teams with weak armed QBs should try arm punts more often. what does the data say?

[Jose Lamas @Beebster1117]

@BaseballValues why is this a major underpay as opposed to the Outman trade being a moderate one? different in trade value about the same

[Betches @betchesluvthis]

Every private jet in the world is landing in Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding and I’m still trying to finish my iced coffee before the paper straw disintegrates

[Jose Lamas @Beebster1117]

@HProductionsYYC @wasp_enthusiast try less

[Jose Lamas @Beebster1117]

@loanDepotpark any idea why no one is being let out of the parking lot?

[Jose Lamas @Beebster1117]

@stugotz790 you going to the sphere tonight stu

[Jose Lamas @Beebster1117]

@Kerbsidee @designedtolearn @GeoffRoise @ColoradoDOT i have a feeling it’s 2 separate events: the pileup and the closure of the tunnel.

[Jose Lamas @Beebster1117]

@ColoradoDOT you have 10,000 cars gridlocked on i70W anxiously waiting for updates and you decided to poop down your leg instead