Lauren 🌻

(she/they)
just ur friendly neighborhood harm reductress

[Lauren 🌻 @beeeeker_]

baby's first wordle
🟩⬛️⬛️⬛️⬛️
🟩⬛️🟨🟨⬛️
🟩⬛️🟩🟨⬛️
🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

[Ghazaleh Moayedi, DO, MPH 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️ @dr_moayedi]

A newborn baby taken from her mother's arms and put into foster care for....jaundice. Jaundice.

This baby needs to be returned home and this family deserves peace, not to have their baby stolen from them.

This is what medical racism looks like.

[Lauren 🌻 @beeeeker_]

Me turning in my final: this is rushed garbage, good thing I have a buffer for my grade
*gets an A*

This is why I continue to not learn better time management.

[faris @rottewange]

if i lose tiktok how else am i supposed to get gems like this

[Amy W Schwartz @lizardschwartz]

Parenting tips courtesy of the amphibians at Vancouver Aquarium

[Robert Komaniecki @Komaniecki_R]

Me: I need a "personal massager"
Hitachi: No problem, here's our Magic Wand. Anything else?
Me: You wouldn't happen to know where I can get a 20-ton industrial crawler excavator would you?
Hitachi: You're not gonna believe this

[Lauren 🌻 @beeeeker_]

When I'm PMSing I literally need to be treated like a hysteria patient. Please just make me lay in a dark room for 5-7 days.

[female dennis reynolds @FlVESTARWOMAN]

i need to put them in the same room together and watch them have a psychological battle

[astrology bot @astrologybot_]

if you love a sagittarius, consider yourself lucky.

[Lauren 🌻 @beeeeker_]

@hudlion It's criminal that I can't rt this

[Cute Critter Of The Day @CritterDay]

Today's Cute Critter of the Day is Slimey from Sesame Street!!

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

I'm the guy who named all the batteries (A, AA, AAA, AAAA) so I thought I'd offer a chemical engineering breakdown of how they got these names:

1.) I am afraid of electricity

[AskAubry 🦋 🐆🦝 @ask_aubry]

This is what is called weaponized incompetency. Don't fall for it.

[Lauren 🌻 @beeeeker_]

@hudlion So true, like I remember thinking it was going to be funny and then it wasn't but it was better.

[Lauren 🌻 @beeeeker_]

@hudlion How did I not know/forget you like Stranger Than Fiction? So underrated.

[dizzy @rundizzy]

u perceive ur mother with that worldview ?