dj baby in the corner 🪩

a silly goose • 26 • bartender • makeup artist • she/they

[The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana]

︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎

[redux @lycragun]

Found this in my purse. Never bought one. I’ve already reached the age where they start spawning.

[Vivian @suchnerve]

i think asking labor & delivery staff “can you put in an extra stitch for me?” even as a “joke” should be grounds for an immediate divorce, forfeiture of input over custody arrangements, and consent to at least 18 years of alimony + child support, and i’m not joking

[Bill @wjneumire]

my retired parents start every morning walking to the coffee shop & then taking a walk along the lake while drinking their coffee...& then my dad puts on a backpack, rides his bike to the library, pays a quarter to copy the crossword, & takes it home. This is how I want to fade

[Heidi N. Moore @moorehn]

There was a girl who posted on TikTok about her shopping addiction (which is very real, and should be thought of like other addictions) but unfortunately when she showed what she ended up in debt for, every single outfit she put together was an absolute banger

[bridget 🌸🐝 @wholemilkbitch]

i know i didn’t text back despite “being on my phone for seven hours straight” but you have to understand i was on the escapism phone. the responding to texts phone is different.

[dj baby in the corner 🪩 @beetle_bails]

@bleachdrinkr101 shoot him in the head call that a lobotomy

[dj baby in the corner 🪩 @beetle_bails]

mind your fucking business

[♡‧Kazumi‧♡ @KazUwU__]

The year you were born vs how old you are now

2006: 18
2005: 19
2004: 20
2003: 21
2002: 22
2001: 23
2000: 24
1999: pushing 30
1998: pushing 30
1997: pushing 30
1996: pushing 30
1995: dead

[Marlon @marlonmalibu]

Yall lucky I’m not President. I would’ve had everyone with them bright ass headlights executed day 1.

[dj baby in the corner 🪩 @beetle_bails]

how many dishwashers have y’all broken? me personally, 2.

which isn’t a lot, but it’s crazy that it’s happened twice 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

[Cat @CatOrman1]

me forcing my boyfriend to wear sunscreen:

[nesrin danan @blackprints]

most men wouldn’t survive the way we discuss them in the groupchat

[bran @slugopolis]

theres like a 2 month period when someone is falling in love with you where you can get them to read/listen/watch pretty anything. you really gotta take advantage of that

[daft ponk @sicksadchris]

she can back up off my man i know that much.