beetle

baked fresh daily

[stewie garlic @strwberryvape]

stop using ai i need that water for my bong

[Girth Brooks @crackawdajuice]

Printing so much fudge in the work bathroom that i had to take pto

[beetle @beetle_gang]

Just got off the phone with Mitch Mcconnell, he’s fine just having a little reptile dysfunction

[boe @bigsquishyfrog]

Guy on jeopardy looks just like me and his fun fact is "15 years ago I stole the identity and visage of a poor young man and now he unknowingly walks the earth as a ghost"

[tex @texmeplease]

i take 1000mg of caffeine by day and 1000mg thc by night

[claire de lune @ClaireMPLS]

i’m just gonna say it: some of yall aren’t qualified for self checkout. if you don’t have an internal sense of urgency and fine motor skills, leave it to the professionals cause the rest of us are trying to keep it pushin

[ieva @mourninglambs]

I show up at the bars just ugly as fuck

[beetle @beetle_gang]

what kind of candy bar do you think would have been charles darwin’s favorite? feel like he would have been a crunch bar guy

[viviana 🫀 @chipilonita]

crazy alcoholic guy across the street is flashing a strobe light at a police helicopter and yelling “get outta my airspace you fucking pigs” and i do in fact have to give it to him this time

[beetle @beetle_gang]

ranting, raving, foaming at the mouth: nah i think i’m over it

[beetle @beetle_gang]

27 unread messages after a week off of socials but none are from you so i don’t think i missed anything

[Sad Spice @imsadspice]

I’m using this app regularly again which probably means I’m in another dysphoric episode, at least the jokes will slap

[beetle @beetle_gang]

sending the most beautiful women i know the most painfully stupid memes i can find

[beetle @beetle_gang]

not to be a piece of shit but do southwest airline attendants act like stand up comedians bc their whole life is a joke? sorry you couldn’t get a job at a real airline

[beetle @beetle_gang]

i like to pick my deodorant based on the album art

[Boomhauer @_Boomhauer]

Dang ol’ everything’s gonna be okay, man

[beetle @beetle_gang]

does everyone else feel like a poorly socialized cave troll most days or is it just me? sick

[Shaun Johnson @ShyBucketGetter]

Imagining Werner Herzog say “A little bit of chicken fried. Cold beer on Friday night. A pair of jeans that fit just right.”

[beetle @beetle_gang]

the 9 gram gas station cart i got today got me sending drunk-like texts should i be concerned

[beetle @beetle_gang]

every night before i go to sleep im like yeah ill hit it in just a second i just have to learn the main differences between judaism christianity and islam real quick