Universal Britt

*Decalcify Your Pineal Gland*

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

If I could make the man for me he'd be a mash-up of all the qualities I liked in my ex's.

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

Im probably the most bland and normal person in my current environment right now. I like it.

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

Broke people always hating on somebody

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

@t_sadiity Lemon blueberry Creatine in my water

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

Just watched Juno and cried real tears ....... but why did ol' dude start to fall for a 16 yr old and leave his wife 🤕

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

I speak German, Spanish, Mandarin and Japanese. I am proud of myself. Now to learn Thai 😊

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

How come Regina Hall is not funny to me?

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

I tried a new hair oil last night. Very tingly. Very minty. I'll give a review in like a month or 2...if I remember

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

This older dude at my job said he has 19 siblings. He's 13th. I need to know how his parents managed that.

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

#Aquarius If they’re your friend, they love you like family. Sensitive but guarded. Odd ball of the group, thats how they like it. Show them how to communicate and they’ll mirror it back. Undeveloped, they hide behind dishonesty. Developed, they’ll give you blunt honesty.

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

#Leo Leo Leo 😭 Your friends dont dislike you… they just get tired of the constant boasting. It’s okay to be proud of your accomplishments, but after a while it’s like, “Okay, we get it, you did amazing.” Other people have things going on in their lives too..

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

#Virgo is like that one baby that was just recently taught to tie their shoes and when you offer them help they refuse it, but get frustrated because you didn't help them on the part they forgot. So its your fault they didn't tie their shoes correctly.

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

With #Cancer its hit or miss with these people. They're very possessive over you but if you like that in friendship or relationship then they're for you. Also dont hurt their feelings they're big babies with big egos.

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

#Pisces always look very esthetic, lol Idk if you know what I mean. Probably wearing a flannel right now or drinking alcohol or listening to music with the curtains closed thinking about making a song

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

#Scorpio and #Sagittarius probably the most sxually attractive signs they also look like they'll give you an sti. They're cool ash. Life of the party. They be cheating too.

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

Love a #Capricorn they can cut you deep sometimes but if you treat them kindly they'll reciprocate x10. Plus they always at work. Very reliable.

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

#Taurus always look like something is dirty about them.. Like maybe their socks, bathtub, car stinks or bed room is dirty. Idk. They're cool when they want to be. And always know the best spots to eat.

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

#Aries amazing people. Super fun, driven, funny. If you have any aries in your life please treat them good, they'll really ride or die for you. Don't cross them, you'll regret it.

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

#Libra are EXTREMELY well put together on the outside but are fucked up mentally. Idc idc idc go to therapy

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

#Gemini are great as friends but dating 1 person with 2 people inside their brain is not for the weak.

[Universal Britt @beeyondthis]

If China takes over the United States are they going to fix it?