Keith Henderson

Songwriter for hire.

Listen on the link below...

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@Dominos_UK I ordered from your Heaton store in Newcastle, and waited 90 minutes for it to arrive. On the plus side, it was barely warm and, shall we say, ‘well done’ when it was eventually delivered. Not worth £27.46 of anyone’s money. Refund please!

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@KathyBurke The best romcom (if it’s even one) has to This Year’s Love. British film, amazing cast, and the best line in a film ever.
‘You fuck with me you fuck with death, you fuck!’

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@lstone345 @elainerobz @turnerthecomic @kielder_obs @FeltNowt Such an amazing place. My daughter did her work experience there a few weeks ago. I walked in Mars 🔭👩‍🚀

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@MagpieMediaa Howe and his team must have applied the same character tests as for his other signings, so if Eddie believes he’s the right man for us, then so do I.

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@ChrisGPackham I leave the bottom of my garden, and an old pond, to nature. I’ve never cultivated it at all because I think nature never gets it wrong. I’ve seen so much life in there it’s astonishing. Also got a woodpile behind the shed for the bugs 🐞🐛🕷

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@wmarybeard @BBCr4today I think he prefers buses because trains go too fast for people to read the lies written on the side of them.

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@rickygervais Happy birthday! If I look like you when I’m 61 I’ll kill myself.

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@NadiaWhittomeMP @RMTunion Careful, Nadia. With that kind of socialist ideology you’ll be kicked out of the Labour party.

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@SteveRPugh I’m sure he was hacked. You know, like when someone posts a picture of their penis. They’re all victims of hacking too, apparently.

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@TristanSnell I’ve always believed that religious belief is as close to mental illness as makes no difference. It seems the republicans have proved my hypothesis.

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@GaryBarlow I’ve been looking at way to avoid tax. Any advice?

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@StarbucksUK six people behind the counter at you Northumberland Street store in Newcastle, and I’m into my 10th minute of waiting for a flat white. It’s coffee not fucking alchemy.

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@BootstrapCook @StillSina I can’t remember the last time I took a receipt, but o remember being told by one shop that I had to take the receipt because of ‘data protection laws’ I didn’t take it - proper bad boy, me!

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@JenBartram I remember doing an open night at the Magnesia Bank in 2009, run by his brother Liam, and @samfendermusic and his mates got up and did a cover of Grounds for Divorce. TBH it wasn’t wry good at all, but he’s come a loooong way since then. Love everything about him🙂

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@mrjamesob Absolutely, James. I will always remember the marvellous Neville Wanless and his sign-off at the end of the day (in the days when TV actually had an end of the day).

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@grantshapps You make me want to change species

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@CostaCoffee I’m trying to send a DM but it won’t send for some reason

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@CostaCoffee I’ve just been in to your store at Manor Walks in Cramlington, and walked out after looking at the totally uncovered cakes and pastries, and seeing this. It’s something I’ve seen in many of your stores. I think you’ve lost me as a customer.

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@JaneFallon I read Worst.Idea.Ever and thought it would be a bit shit. But it was actually a bit of well writ lit not in the least bit shit which rightly was a hit.

[Keith Henderson @beigeviper]

@mettlesome_teri @LeftGrassroots Nice to see Richard Madeley’s Alan Partridge tribute act going so well.