Be Kind Of Witty

Mom life - Humor | Tweets:

[Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty]

If you see my kid in the same outfit for three days just know I tried to change him but he said it was comfy and it’s the weekend and those were valid points.

[Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty]

My kids were discussing why you can’t marry your mom and the main argument was “ew, she would be so old by then, do you want to marry an old lady?” and I think maybe there was a better, less mean reason, but sure let’s go with that.

[Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty]

My door dasher wished me a happy new year and let me know I was one of her regulars and that perfectly sums of what I’ve been doing in 2024.

[Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty]

@Dadsaysjokes

[Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty]

My son is worried about being on Santa’s nice list but rather than change his behavior he has decided to continue worrying, and that is actually quite relatable.

[Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty]

Me: Why are you in my bed?

8: It’s definitely not because there are crumbs in mine.

[Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty]

Do not tell your middle child it is National Middle Child’s Day if you don’t have something fun planned. I know this now.

[Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty]

It’s National Middle Child’s Day and my
middle child is now mad that we’re not doing anything fun and no one even said anything nice to him.

He fits his role perfectly.

[Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty]

“I know you’re scared, but stop being scared.”

- advice from an 8yo

[Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty]

6: Did you know that 4’s second favorite color is red?

4: I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ANYONE!

[meghan @deloisivete]

Sorry, but unless you're a thunderstorm warning, I'm not listening to your voicemail

[Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty]

What is the most difficult 4 wheeled vehicle to operate and why is it a skateboard?

[Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty]

Don’t listen to my kid if he tells you Mom has no food in her house, he’s exclusively talking about popsicles and Capri Suns.

[Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty]

Is the recipe easy or did you already chop, cook, and measure 15 ingredients into small glass bowls before making this video?

[Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty]

@golubeerji 😂🥰

[Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty]

My kid keeps calling my food ‘mid’ and like could they at least use an insult that I don’t have to Google.

[McDad @mcdadstuff]

Hacker: Give us your password or else

30 minutes later…

Me: OK, now try 1987 and three exclamation points

[meghan @deloisivete]

Not my parents getting same-day delivery on a Lite Brite for my kids when I spent two years asking for one in the '90s.

[Katie D @KatieDeal99]

Guys I tried not buying the little treat and saving money and it was not worth it

[meghan @deloisivete]

Ran out of syrup mid-waffle, and by the look on my kid's face, I will be hearing from his lawyer