Frances

Mi estas komencanto, pardonon. I tweet in English, Esperanto, and Tagalog.

[Frances @beleta_frances]

I'm human, so I make mistakes.
I don't want to make mistakes anymore.
I don't want to live with my mistakes anymore either.

[Frances @beleta_frances]

I have to move on.
I have to get better.
I need to change.

[Frances @beleta_frances]

I made bad decisions and I hate myself for them.
I made bad decisions and it's too late to fix them.
I made bad decisions and I have to live with them.

[Frances @beleta_frances]

I'm probably depressed.
The people around me don't like how I'm all doom and gloom, and lack interest in everything.
I need to get this treated.

[Frances @beleta_frances]

@edheil Jes, la voĉo ne estas mia! Mi kreis ĝin komputile, kun la programo "Synthesizer V". La kreado de la kantado estis iomete malfacila (ĉar la programo estas por la Angla, la Japana, kaj la Ĉina lingvoj, kaj ne Esperanto), do mi estas tre feliĉa ke vi ŝatas ĝin! 😀

[Frances @beleta_frances]

https://t.co/1z25xP5tGo

[Frances @beleta_frances]

@edheil So that's where those strange scenes came from! I used to love browsing wikiHow as a kid. Who would've thought a lot of the art came from here? 😂

[Frances @beleta_frances]

Should I pick up a new hobby and learn to draw? Or is it not really worth it if I'm not planning to monetize it one day?

[Frances @beleta_frances]

@andesitehomie No prob! We all use English a little differently depending on where we're from, so it's normal to have misunderstandings.

[Frances @beleta_frances]

@andesitehomie Oh, I was right about the lost in translation thing! I wasn't talking about a parent throwing a party. I was thinking more along the lines of giving your kid extra care during that time, "celebrating their existence" more, if you kind of get what I mean.

[Frances @beleta_frances]

@andesitehomie There's nothing wrong with finding it weird, though! I'm sensing some discomfort from you, and it's not my intention to offend you at all, so I'm sorry.
Menarche is celebrated in many cultures, and I just wanted to share my positive experience about it to a wider audience.

[Frances @beleta_frances]

@andesitehomie I was talking about literal growing taller and stuff, like puberty. I get what you mean by that definition of growing up though. I grew a lot taller that time, but I didn't really "grow up" as in become a wiser person till much, much later.

[Frances @beleta_frances]

@mahxiackorvo @andesitehomie Now that I think of it, it would be creepy if "celebrate" was defined by having a party-party and inviting your neighbors unnecessarily.
But celebrating your kid's future health and their entering of an age where they will grow a lot is not weird to me. (could be a culture thing)

[Frances @beleta_frances]

@mahxiackorvo @andesitehomie That's what I was thinking, too! I got candy on mine, and I think we even watched a movie or something to cheer me up! As a kid I kind of disliked the thought of the hassle having a period would bring, but the celebration made me less upset about it and helped me accept it.

[Frances @beleta_frances]

@andesitehomie @mahxiackorvo It also depends on how you define celebrate, now that I think of it.
We might be thinking of two completely different things!

[Frances @beleta_frances]

@andesitehomie @mahxiackorvo I guess if you look at it that way, it would be creepy. That difference in viewpoint probably is a cultural difference between you and me, so I won't argue. For me it's as innocent as finally reaching a certain height or growing your hair long enough for a ponytail, haha.

[Frances @beleta_frances]

@mahxiackorvo @andesitehomie I agree! Periods are nothing to be ashamed of, and there's really nothing wrong with celebrating it if it is a thing in that family's culture.

I had a random thought that it could kinda be like a birthday. Like a "congrats on living this long" celebration.

[Frances @beleta_frances]

I'm surprised that I feel a bit better today. It's good.

[Frances @beleta_frances]

Some stressful stuff has happened in the past few days and I tried to reach out to some friends for emotional support, but they didn't really reciprocate my efforts at conversation. I just wanted someone to talk to, but I felt like I was just bothering everyone I approached.

[Frances @beleta_frances]

I know I should stick to the people who have proven that they actually care for me instead of chasing people who kinda don't, but I want to expand my circle. I just wish it didn't involve being reminded that I don't matter that much unless I'm doing something useful for them.

[Frances @beleta_frances]

Sometimes I wonder if I'm worth caring about. I know some people care about me, and I'm thankful for that. But I also know that I care about some people who don't really care about me or how I'm doing, or even the fact that I care about them. I wonder why I'm not worthy.

[Frances @beleta_frances]

It burns me out.
I'm afraid of being alone, though, so I keep reaching out, despite being given the bare minimum by the majority of people.