Shit Alex Says

Hobbies: BBD and crusty ears

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

Guys can I ask you something? This is gonna be weird but when you ate the beans, did they taste like donuts kind of?

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

Yo wait I’m about to sound so dumb. But Oregon is a state??

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

“Let it Be” movie playing in the background*

Kayla: is this that Beatles movie?

Barb: Bohemian Rhapsody?

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

I don’t always like prisoners...I like military guys too.

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

Travis had a court date today. I wonder if he’s in jail?

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

Another thing about Misery is that I saw him doing coke in the middle of the bar

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

That was my problem. It was ginormous. I had to.

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

Y'all I gotta tell you a joke....

My ankle is broken for real

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

Guys lets go buy a real dick.

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

my sister makes me want to puke 1,000 times

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

Isn't it weird to think that we all came out of a vagina? ewwww...I wish I came out of a penis.

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

True life: I dropped 7 pounds from shitting

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

Alls I can think about right now is whales. You know like orca whales?

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

On Friday I hadn't showered since Tuesday...I've showered three times since I've been back at school.

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

my eyes hurt. They've been in use too much today.

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

aw I missed all the day light because I was in the library

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

evolution is going to start again. I'm going to be the first fucking dinosaur back on this earth

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

Do you want to suck my dick right here, right now?

[Shit Alex Says @belikebarb]

hey did you hear they found water on Mars? I think we're all mov *stops mid sentence to stare at a black guy* moving there