mel

[♡ @ArtCelineLove]

semtember 1st

[fran @_francesf]

Why do guys think their loud cars are cool .. they sound like farts

[marrow @marrowon]

Do NOT get pregnant unless you are ready to be the most retarded version of yourself. Maybe the most retarded woman on Earth

[Marisa Baldassaro @Nerdspringbreak]

No Italian would ever name their daughter "Meadow"

[darby 🌳👩🏻‍🌾☀️ @darbygwin]

They don’t tell you this but after you get married you can’t say guess what without everyone asking if you’re pregnant

[bethany @thenightbethore]

no bras tomorrow for anybody. tits at half mast

[Mxim @sugeezy]

Everybody wears scrubs now. Don’t know if you’re a lash tech or a heart surgeon 🤨

[K80 ☁️ @scriptK80]

“I’m smart I’m just a bad test taker” oh u fail at the part where we find out if you know the stuff

[José Luis #360 @jlsantana]

¿Ustedes se dan cuenta de que buscan un lugar apropiado, ponen el celular, lo encuadran, lo ponen a filmar, agarran al bebé para que se vea que es el culpable, se ponen a llorar frente al celu, vuelven a dejar al bebé, paran la filmación, la editan, le ponen un texto de “Sólo quiero recuperar la chispa” y lo suben a las redes para farmear likes?

Ya sé, ya sé, soy un machirulo, ya me voy.

[Sopranos World @SopranosWorld]

Getting that first hit of fall air

[Your OG 🐩 @LRNROSE]

i love when kids have those little pot bellies 😭 like when they are transitioning from a baby into a toddler it is so cute to me

[ember loves bay ridge @embernic]

Just tried my annual olive. Sorry to report that the answer is still no. Please check back next year.

[Shrimp Billionaire @fentanylbrownie]

I’m becoming convinced that the only form of wealth that matters later in life is having adult children who enjoy spending time with you.

[bird 🐇 @oliveegger]

Baby took an 8 min nap

[Junka 🇭🇺 @the_junka]

you could genuinely be the most stressed in your life at 3am then a bug would show up in your room that you never even seen in your life

[fran @_francesf]

Guys my eye has been twitching for a week what does it mean

[Wholesome Side of 𝕏 @itsme_urstruly]

we had a room at school called the computer lab & they taught us how to use them

[rebecca @rrcjaf]

Men be like ok I’m 55 and my sperm is ready to cause autism time to settle down and commit

[7/11 Truther @DaveMcNamee3000]

Me 2 hours after ET wanders into my backyard

[LJ 👩🏻‍🦰🍒🪐 @crotchner2]

Childless trad egirls are always talking about how crazy fertile they are and it’s like. where’s your accidental child then. where is it. mine is right here. where’s yours.