Belly Black

Discovered the cure for cancer. Can't find my notes

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

I went to see "The Normal Heart" but there were clearly no gay people in the cast. So I threw a fag on the play

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

Grabbed a mop. Got accused of janitorial harassment

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

That awkward moment when you're laughing at people of Walmart pictures and you see you

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

A SOS pad has never saved anyone

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

Got Covid-18. Nobody gave a fuck

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

Eating ice cream with a fork #forgetwhatyouknow

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

#600million licks it took. Fuck a tootsie roll pop

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

You ever make a shopping list and forget one thing? My father did that in 1972

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

Veggie burgers are only good if they're made out of beef

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

Driving a Ford

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

I opened a jar of pickles and twenty lesbians showed up at my door

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

I have a loose tooth. I hope it comes back

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

I think toucans usually have a couple of beers on them

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

#Sinatra#Martin#Davis#Belly *falls down*

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

I drink so much that the last time I gave a urine sample it had a little paper umbrella in it

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

What's white and stands in the corner?

A naughty fridge

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

I wanna freeze a baby seal and club other baby seals with it

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

A gallows is not a good place to hang around

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

Little known fact about Belly: I don't really care or give a fuck. That's not the little known fact tho. It's when I do, I want your mom

[Belly Black @bellyblack1]

I got a new screen protector for my phone. Bitch won't let me touch it