spitake

my shitposts👇🏻

[spitake @benhaggertyslut]

I’ve never wanted to like, quote-un-quote

[spitake @benhaggertyslut]

Was that baby sucking on a remote

[spitake @benhaggertyslut]

@jackantonoff

[New Jersey @NJGov]

you called?

[spitake @benhaggertyslut]

Don’t get me wrong, I expect the Bears to be good this year. What surprises me is after years of repeatedly giving too much hype to the team just for them to be such a large disappointment, Bears fans are doing it … again? Must love being sad.

[spitake @benhaggertyslut]

Once I have entered the record store, I transform into one of earth’s most lethal apex predators

[spitake @benhaggertyslut]

Ran out of mounting squares for my scrapbook guess I have to play CFB now

[spitake @benhaggertyslut]

Miller lite is the Diet Coke of beers

[spitake @benhaggertyslut]

That’s like I sell tvs and someone comes in the store saying he watch tv the best, so? I still sell tvs

[spitake @benhaggertyslut]

@NYTGames I don’t mean to give you a million dollar idea for free, but in the interest of sharing is caring: add a social feature to your app where all us puzzlers can become friends and have a feed of our daily scores instead of texting them to each other 😘 #Wordle959

[spitake @benhaggertyslut]

The sequel to politics
Unanswered prayers
and

crying fits

[spitake @benhaggertyslut]

Yo Mike drop that shit

[spitake @benhaggertyslut]

I am at the edge.

[spitake @benhaggertyslut]

YOU AINT GOT THE ANSWERS
YOU AINT GOT THE ANSWERS

[spitake @benhaggertyslut]

The part that will always feel wrong is when we say goodbye without a kiss or an I love you.

[spitake @benhaggertyslut]

But I’m scared I might not have that kind of time

[Frank Michael Smith @frankmikesmith]

Okay, wtf are these? They actually look like an April Fool's joke. Worst on the list

[spitake @benhaggertyslut]

Navigating social planes when it’s taboo to acknowledge their existence feels like a big shadow game in a dimension where the rules of physics aren’t known, or maybe I’m neurodivergent idk

[spitake @benhaggertyslut]

I am the sassy man apocalypse

[spitake @benhaggertyslut]

Must be the Hippocratic Oath of private event bus drivers to get to the function hours before they’re needed and just let that diesel motor purrrrrr