Benjamin Mitchell

Helping technical leaders struggling with imposter syndrome, burnout and stress to thrive in work and life!

[Benjamin Mitchell @benjaminm]

@houlihan_rick I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your son Rick

[Benjamin Mitchell @benjaminm]

Get your anxiety-inducing thoughts out of your head by putting them down on paper.

Powerful advice from @tferriss with @ColinandSamir

[Benjamin Mitchell @benjaminm]

This is a great example of the power of "feel the fear and do it anyway". Having the courage to face our fears shows anxiety is "the monster that has no teeth", as @DavidDBurnsMD says. #teamcbt

[Cory House @housecor]

Confession: Years ago, my life was dominated by fear.

I was so scared of failure that I was afraid to speak up. I was afraid to try things that might not work.

“I feel like a fraud”.

“What if my boss or coworkers realize I’m not very good?”

“What if I say something dumb in a meeting and embarrass myself?”

I hit a fork in the road. I could either hide from my fears, or I could chase them down.

I chose the latter.

I decided to start speaking at user groups and conferences because it would force me to get over my insecurities, and get better, fast.

And more importantly, public speaking intimidated me.

“What if they think I’m an idiot?”

“What if I get on stage and freeze and forget my points?”

“What if my demo fails?”

So what?! I was tired of living in fear. I decided hiding from my fears was no way to live.

So I spoke.

Was it great? No. 😒
But did I die? Also no. 😀

So, I kept practicing, and I got better.

That was over a decade ago. Fast forward to today. I’ve presented over 250 sessions worldwide, I’m independent, I teach and consult for a living, and over 500k people have taken my courses.

My weakness didn’t just become my strength - it became my job! 🔥

The world feels bigger (and way less scary) today.

Now I can present to a room of 100’s of developers without fear. It’s genuinely fun. I feel no more stress than having a coffee 1:1. This transformation still blows my mind.

The moral of the story? With any fear, we have a choice: Hide from it, or chase it.

I chose the latter, and that made all the difference.

[Benjamin Mitchell @benjaminm]

@housecor That's a great example of the power of "feel(ing) the fear and do(ing) it anyway". I admire the way you courageously faced your fears @housecor!

[Benjamin Mitchell @benjaminm]

Pagodas are Japanese 5-layer wooden buildings first built 1400 years ago

Despite regular major earthquakes, only 2 have ever collapsed

The To-Jo temple survived in '95.

Many modern buildings were flattened.

What does this teach us about resilience?

[Benjamin Mitchell @benjaminm]

3\ When reversing is expensive, accept and accommodate

Compared to code, knitting is frustratingly linear.

Reversing errors is time-consuming.

Accepting the situation and accommodating help.

(This jumper, meant for me, went to my 10 yo)

[Benjamin Mitchell @benjaminm]

2\ Learning can feel weird as you go

Starting anything new can be awkward and difficult.

When things are halfway done, it can feel weird.

But continuing to focus on finishing makes a huge difference

[Benjamin Mitchell @benjaminm]

A lot of stress and pain at work comes from tying our self-worth to our accomplishments.

But does doing well at work mean you are a good person?

Does doing badly at work mean you are a bad person?

[Benjamin Mitchell @benjaminm]

I used to set a goal of doing *more* of a new habit each day

But
❌ I felt worse when I didn’t
❌ Feeling worse meant I stopped trying it each day

Now I aim to do something *less* than the day before
✅ If I stop after starting, I've won 🏆
✅ I keep starting each day 💪

[Benjamin Mitchell @benjaminm]

That's a wrap!

If you enjoyed this thread:

1. Follow me @benjaminm for more of these
2. Got questions about positively reframing? My DMs are open
3. RT the tweet below to share this thread with your audience

[Benjamin Mitchell @benjaminm]

In 2019, I was eating 2 reduced-price buns every day after work to manage stress.

It was an addictive habit.

I felt guilty and embarrassed. It was impacting my health.

Here's the key insight I learnt about changing habits when your internal critic is screaming at you 🧵

[Benjamin Mitchell @benjaminm]

In 2019, I was eating 2 reduced-price buns every day after work to manage stress.

It was an addictive habit.

I felt guilty and embarrassed. It was impacting my health.

Here's the key insight I learnt about changing habits when your internal critic is screaming at you 🧵

[Benjamin Mitchell @benjaminm]

If you're trying to change a habit you're self-critical about, reframe it like this:
1 Write your thoughts and feelings down. Ask:
2 What does this thought or feeling show about me that is positive or awesome?
3 How does this thought or feeling reflect my core values?
#teamcbt