Benjy

[Benjy @benjypw]

**Update about Dunkaroos**: A quarter century of life experience has NOT resulted in improved icing rationing skills for me.

[Benjy @benjypw]

Netflix is missing the category “Non Netflix-Exclusives”

[Benjy @benjypw]

Socks are like Tupperware.

[Benjy @benjypw]

Bonus question: what about out of the 300 days before that?

[Benjy @benjypw]

Out of the last 300 days, how many days have you not said the words “covid”, “corona”, or “virus” ?

[Benjy @benjypw]

@JGewurz Logo should have been a red C with a white F in the middle

[Benjy @benjypw]

Seriously, which one of you has been going around my house every weekend to put all my picture frames just a little crooked.

[Benjy @benjypw]

4- “Alright I’m just gonna get this out of my system” title of my coronavirus saga >>>>> cut to opening credits 👉👉

[Benjy @benjypw]

Alright I’m just gonna get this out of my system:

[Benjy @benjypw]

3- Lime Scooters halts scooter-sharing services amidst covid-19 pandemic. Sorry folks, missed your chance to have a coronavirus with lime.

[Benjy @benjypw]

Daily musings.
What carries more historical significance: the first of a kind, or the most popular of a kind?

[Mel K. @redmtl44]

#BellLetsTalk

[Benjy @benjypw]

TV has severely distorted my perception of how often people crawl through air vents.

[Benjy @benjypw]

@JGewurz you know it

[Benjy @benjypw]

Direct correlation confirmed between size of headphones and number of times people interrupt your train of thought while you're working.

[Benjy @benjypw]

Hey, I'm at my parents' watching tv. Can't be bothered to go through the whole guide. Is there a channel that doesn't play Big Bang Theory?

[Benjy @benjypw]

Buying the third least expensive wine is the new buying the second least expensive wine #growingup

[Benjy @benjypw]

@gregisenberg my tweet from 2 weeks ago.