Ben Konowitz

i like jokes. i like movies. i like you, maybe.

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

Someday we'll be saying, "Man, our kids won't even know what a hashtag is". #sucksforthem

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

I've created a new word. http://t.co/iPpDz0UP.........#nocturnalicious

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

Romney is Mormon = one man is shared among multiple women. When you take one thing and share it among multiple people..isn't that Communism?

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

"I promise not to have more than one wife......while I'm in office! Heyo!" - funny Romney ad.

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

"If you don't mind Biden farting in the East Wing...being President = Not that bad" - funny Obama ad.

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

Is it ok for a man to like the band Train? These songs are just really catchy and fun. I'm youtubing the shit out of them right now.

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

I'm more inclined to buy something if the ad campaign is honest and/or funny. Maybe politicians should look to funny rather than attack ads?

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

I'm considering doing my first "@" to someone. No lie, it's probably going to be a porn star. Male.

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

My twitter is a treasure trove of hilarity. Fun fact, a "trove" is another word for map. So go ahead, try to find the funny.

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

Stop looking rich by posing with money online. Start looking wealthy by INVESTING it. That's how you go from fiddy cent to one whole dolla.

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

Q: What's the difference between women and golf balls? A: I only hit white golf balls.

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

Snoop Dogg smokes weed that is so dank, it makes you change your NAME. That's some good shit right there.

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

I feel like the Silly Walk from Monty Python should be an Olympic event.

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

I mistyped Giggle instead of Google, it's a baby store website. I still typed "porn" in the search bar. I think I'm going to jail.

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

I have since changed the password on my twitter account to, "1,2,3,4,5" Whew, that was close.

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

I think someone posted things from my twitter account and it wasn't me, sorry if it was more offensive than usual.

[Joe @jesus_chrystler]

Hey! Follow @benkonowitz he's cool, won't eat much, he'll sleep on the couch, help out around the house. Follow him dammit!!!!

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

The dropout rate at Cow Pie High is alarmingly high in #MulletTown.

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

#MulletTown, where the barber and the mayor have the same level of education: None.

[Ben Konowitz @benkonowitz]

#MulletTown, where everyone shows up for their business meetings going commando.