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pan-taco-sexual

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[space taco @benmarvin]

Bars are cheaper than therapy per hour. Why have you not taken the alcohol pill yet?

[space taco @benmarvin]

If ya ever want some wild dreams, take a nap while listening to an economics documentary.

[space taco @benmarvin]

High calorie individual outside Walmart talking on the phone loudly about her bowel movements.

[space taco @benmarvin]

Why have all my gummy vitamins turned hard? Are they expired and turned into rocks? Or are they just fully turned on and erect now?

[space taco @benmarvin]

I have consciously decided to stop yelling at cyclists they run stop signs. If you want to die, that's not my choice. But your choice will be in my deposition.

[space taco @benmarvin]

Illegal short term rental property? Excuse me, they're undocumented STRs. No rental properties are "illegal" on stolen land.

[space taco @benmarvin]

Like GoGurt, but it's a Taco Bell burrito

[space taco @benmarvin]

Dollar Tree, what is you doing bruh

[space taco @benmarvin]

@cariannettes Wew lad. That's a situation for sure. Don't miss office drama one bit.

[space taco @benmarvin]

Yeah, I'm transphobic, I prefer longitudinal engine layouts.

[space taco @benmarvin]

"you can see it from space", bitch you are in space, if you can see it at all, you can see it from space. Stfu

[space taco @benmarvin]

This inflation is getting out of control. A gallon of Four Loko is now over $16.

[space taco @benmarvin]

Why the fuck is it so cold in Georgia in May?

[space taco @benmarvin]

If your app asks me to rate the app, you're automatically getting a bad review. Get some confidence motherfucker. Either you know you're good or you fucking suck.

[space taco @benmarvin]

When my cat sneezes, his butthole pops out like a spray tan girl in 2007 making the duck face.

[space taco @benmarvin]

Bonusland

[space taco @benmarvin]

@USCPSC This again?

[space taco @benmarvin]

White people calling out racism against other races is exercising your white privilege and you need to stop, fucking racists.

[space taco @benmarvin]

They should make a device where you can listen to music without a screen on and doesn't need internet to work. That would be cool.

[space taco @benmarvin]

Remember when Pantera was glam metal? Weird times.