b e n j a m i n

he/him

[Kwite @Kwite]

gonna start saying bless you to farts

[Bess Kalb @bessbell]

Wow hope this widely available information about the Nazi origins of @adidas doesn’t go viral and cause a massive international boycott in light of their recent silence in the face of violent antisemitism by their partner Kanye West.

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

Vacations aren’t about making memories or having new experiences. Vacations are about having 11-15 beers a day in a city where nobody knows you

[b e n j a m i n @bennykboy]

Y’all…please don’t go out and tip your server 10% then fuckin ask them to help you with a merch purchase 🖕🏼🖕🏼🖕🏼

[b e n j a m i n @bennykboy]

watching pregnant Pam throw up while maintaining eye contact with egg shell peeling Dwight is a joy I’ll never get tired of🤣

[b e n j a m i n @bennykboy]

You know you gave it to them right when they shout “BOY HOWDY” 🥵

[b e n j a m i n @bennykboy]

any other queer and/or trans people have like zero interest in befriending cis straight white men?

[b e n j a m i n @bennykboy]

my partner: *sends risqué and sexy text*
me: “holy cow”

[Read Jackson Rising @JPHilllllll]

Can’t stop thinking about this. Maybe the most horrifying statement about our society I’ve ever seen

[sarina @sarinasolem]

loved the energy in the @knockedloose pit 🥹🤘

[b e n j a m i n @bennykboy]

when you accidentally get too high before work and you’re being really wEiRd to your first table

[tessdada @minibosstess]

me at work, completely overwhelmed and behind: “oh shit, i need to change my bitmoji’s hair”

[b e n j a m i n @bennykboy]

BEING SUPER NICE TO YOUR SERVER DOES NOT EXEMPT YOU FROM TIPPING…smh, please just be a cunt to me the whole time and tip well. I care about your money, not your manners.

[b e n j a m i n @bennykboy]

@kristen_claudia Missing you and your wonderful presence. I wanna try and come see you asap!

[doug 鞠一道 @douglaschu_]

russian soldiers trying to match on tinder with women from the country they’re invading and then getting catfished for intel is such a weird “we live in the future” moment

[Young Thug ひ @youngthug]

Don’t you ever lie to me to protect my feelings.

[Cloudy 🌥️ @oncIoud_e]

i don't think we talk often enough about how scary it is to be trans in a public space

[Jennifer Wright @JenAshleyWright]

When they said “History repeats itself,” I wasn’t expecting all of the twentieth century in two years.

[b e n j a m i n @bennykboy]

You’d think by almost 27 years old I would’ve learned to drink water at an appropriate pace as to not overflow myself and puke it all back up like some giant idiot man baby 🙄😂😂😂