Interested in tech innovation, financial markets, geopolitics, video games and football, among other things. Krautrock lover and film buff. Happy pug owner.
In 2021 I told my wife she reminded me of a deep value turnaround on the pink sheets and she asked me to elaborate and I did. I should not have elaborated.
I said she was undervalued by the market and she said “what market” and I said the dating market and she said “I am married to you” and I said “exactly, that’s what I’m saying, you’ve been taken private at a discount,” and the temperature of the room dropped 11 degrees.
I tried to recover. I said she had hidden assets that nobody else had noticed and she said “what hidden assets” and I said her sense of humor and she said “I am not laughing” and I said “that’s because the market hasn’t priced it in yet.” She put her fork down.
I kept going. I said her downside was protected because she had real intrinsic value and she said “are you saying I would be worth something if you sold me for parts” and I said “no but technically yes.” She stood up. I told her this was actually a bull thesis.
I told her I was long her. I told her I was so long her that I would never sell, even if the multiple compressed, even if there was a quarter of bad earnings, even if she had a temporary impairment. The word “impairment” did something to her face that I had never seen before and will never see again.
I told her she was a generational opportunity. I told her she was a name nobody else was covering. I told her she was a special situation. She said “I’m leaving” and I said “this is the bottom, this is where conviction is forged,” and she said “no this is where I leave” and I said “I am averaging down,” and she said “on what” and I said “on us,” and she left. She took the dog.
The dog gave me a look on the way out that I have spent four years trying to interpret. The look said one of two things. It either said “you brought this on yourself” or it said “I was always more her dog than yours.” I think it said both.
I have, in the four years since, told the story of this conversation to exactly two people. The first was a man at a bar who stopped me halfway through and said “I think I understand why she left” and I said “I know, the analogy didn’t fully land” and he said “no, sir, I don’t think you do know,” and he paid for his drink and left.
The second was my therapist, who listened to the whole thing without speaking, and then asked me how I felt, and I said “honestly? I still think the thesis was right. I think the timing was wrong. I think I was early.” She put her pen down. She has never put her pen down before. She picked the pen back up. She wrote one word.
I will never know what the word was. I asked. She said it was for her records. The session ended four minutes early. I paid the full $300. I drove home in silence. I thought about the conversation the whole way. I think the problem was that I said “impairment.” I think if I had said “transitory headwinds” the marriage would still be intact.
I am not joking. I have thought about this every single day for four years. Transitory headwinds. That was the word. I had the word the whole time. I did not use the word. That is the only regret I have. Not the analogy. The vocabulary.
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@GPoPesie À Rebours (Huysmans)
Le Rouge et le Noir (Stendhal)
Voyage au Bout de la Nuit (Céline)
American Psycho (Bret Easton Ellis) Histoire de ma Vie (Casanova)